The Blue Jays beat the Tigers 6-1, Winchester swept the River Rats in Cornwall, and the Brewers Tournament was cancelled yesterday, making it the 2nd tourney this year the SweatSox weren’t in to get rained out. This recap is obviously being written on Sunday, after the fact, which is music to Kent Johnston’s ears.
For the third and final time this year, and hopefully for the last time ever, the SweatSox and River Hawks faced off at that beach on Allen road in Quebec this past Friday night. With this being the biggest game yet in the race for the 8th and final playoff spot, the River Hawks were up to their usual tomfooleries nice and early. Whether it was continuing their BP even though there was less than 30 minutes until first pitch, taking a longer infield than normal so we couldn’t get any reps in the sand trap, or qualifying 3 different pitchers in the top of the first to let us know that they were making the playoffs and we weren’t, we saw what they were doing. That still wouldn’t stop us from shaking their hands though; it’s all part of the “game”.
The River Hawks would take a 7-0 lead through the first 4 innings of play, highlighted by Eric White (SS) calling a ball hit to shallow left field, only to be called off by Mark Bond (LF) at literally the last millisecond; a collision ensued, the ball hit the ground, an E7 was awarded, several unearned runs came around to score not long after, and both White and Cop walked away with a few new injuries.
We’d score a pair of runs in both the 5th and 7th innings to make it interesting, capped by a 2 run name-changing double by Larry, but a well timed River Hawks pitching change in the rain essentially crushed our dreams of a 2nd year in Tier 1.
FINAL: River Hawks 8. SweatSox 4.
— SweatSox (@SweatSox) July 9, 2016
While it may have been a bad night for the SweatSox playoff chances, it was an even worse night for SweatSox helmets. Both Kent Johnston and Chris Lidstone let their lids know that they were not at all satisfied with their performance. And while I didn’t personally witness it, based on historical evidence Dillon “Larry” Lowry had to have smashed his at some point too.
The Hyjinx featured some rain, some pain, and a plot to sell Mindy to the highest bidder (Techno), where the cash would then be laundered through the nearby casino before making its way to the local strip clubs. Everyone wins. Stay tuned for updates.
Final SweatSox vs River Hawks III Notes/Thoughts:
- I had back-to-back birdies at the Carleton University Engineering Alumni Golf Tournament earlier in the day.
- “She was a 7 over there, but a hard 5 now.”
- Look out for the SweatSox Jerking Beer Pump, coming to Shark Tank real soon.
- Kent Johnston is not happy with the software update on his weather app.
- Cory Bond was seen taking pregame BP, but he still hasn’t been activated off the DL.
- Chris Lidstone has a much sexier body this year.
- Despite being engaged, Eric White also has a girlfriend; and that girlfriend has a girlfriend.
- The SweatSox set a new record for quickest mound visit: after the 1st batter in the top of the 1st.
- Mindy wasn’t drinking during the game, but we know based on the target of the money-shot she can’t be pregnant.
- Someone stole Kent Johnston’s batting gloves during the game, and planted them in his own bag.
- Announcing substitutions is not required in Quebec. #17 for #17 for #17.
- Chris Lidstone tried rallying the troops with a #down8 roar, problem was we were never actually down 8.
- We thought we lost Jason Klein in the pitching hole a few times, but we found him.
- After dropping a ball in the outfield, Chris Lidstone was punished by being thrown back into the middle infield.
- “We get angry when we lose now, I like it.”
- If Jason Klein didn’t strikeout and walk, and got hits instead, he would’ve been 4/4.
- “Lett is a nice guy, but if he ever snaps, game over.”
- There was no White vs Liddy race, but neither is faster than an Eric Proulx throw to 2nd.
- Marc Lett was only allowed to drink one beer, so he made it count.
- “John doesn’t want to drip on Shaun.”
- Chris Lidstone wished he was in the UFC.
- Mrs. Larry puked on a tree, but not on her leg.
- Atlanta Klein lives in the States.
- Umbrellas are hard.
- “I thought you guys left like 3 times.”
- “They’re like herpes, it keeps coming back.”
- The Quebec exchange rate closed at $1.15.
- Marc Lett has a hole in his backyard almost as big the one on the Allen mound. Marc Lett’s neighbour isn’t impressed with either.
Next up is the highly anticipated Battle of the Greybeards, as John Groves (SweatSox) will battle Steve Smith (Panthers) this Friday night in Kanata. At a combined age of 169 years old, this grudge match will undoubtedly be the oldest pitching matchup in Tier 1 history. On the undercard, if Marc Charbonneau is able to throw a few hard fastballs in relief, we’ll make sure he gets a shot at revenge against Josh Ramage, even if we have to bat him out of order.
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