“Melinda” – SweatSox vs Bytown Battalion III Recap

I’ve got some good news, and I’ve got some bad news.  The good news is after 12 days off the SweatSox were back in action late last week, which means you finally get a brand new recap to read!  The bad news is I had much better things to do since then so I only now got around to mailing this one in.  Sorry KJ.

FYI- I won’t be mailing it like the last time when I still BS’d enough words to keep you busy through your morning bowel movement (or morning Winchester McCarthy as some like to call it).  This one will probably last about as long as Chris Lidstone’s virtual city did when he left it unattended to go play beach volleyball.  Long story short: ??? = ??? = ?‍?‍?.

Here it goes: Last Thursday night at the Sportsplex, the SweatSox lost 10-0 to the Bytown Battalion.  We didn’t get a hit.  End of recap.

Final SweatSox vs Bytown Battalion Notes/Thoughts:

  • John Groves begged for the last minute start, sending shockwaves from Nepean to Burlington.
  • As a result, Josh Ramage got promoted from “starting pitcher” to “DH”.
  • As a result, Marc Lett got demoted from “bench” to “being DH’d for on the hot corner while Groves is pitching”.
  • Cory Bond is a mound visit guru.
  • An infield fly can only be called if the umpire deems the ball catchable by an infielder with ordinary effort.  The no call on the field was correct.  Routine on the SweatSox means that ball is going to hit the ground or go through someone’s legs 14 of 14 times.
  • The following batters are the ones fully responsible for not getting us a hit: Jason Klein, Chris Lidstone, Mark Stinson, John Groves, Mark Bond, Josh Ramage, Kent Johnston, Craig Cornell, and I, Shaun Keay.
  • If Edwin goes to the Red Sox, Liddy is out on the Jays.
  • The SweatSox just need 1 big table at the Cop/Liddy co-wedding in October, without the actual table.
  • The thief of Mark Bond’s last beer may be uninvited to his wedding, no matter who it is.
  • Pikachu is dead.
  • Jason Klein knows how to shotgun, he’s seen it in the movies.
  • We once had a penis apparatus, and now we have a weed apparatus.
  • “You catch Pokemon, I catch beers”.
  • The Sharknado 4 Pool Party is a go.
  • If the shitty Honda’s a rockin’, don’t come a knockin’.
  • Mindy is not short for Melinda.
  • Mrs. Techno doesn’t like the bone.
  • What’s worse, a fork or pillow attack?
  • It’s not rape if it’s 6am on a Sunday morning and it’s the only way to calm down.
  • “There’s no iced tea until Saturday”.
  • The Domino’s phone number is easy, it’s 613-269…no wait…
  • We’re pretty sure the planned 5-way between the Lidstone’s and the Klein’s turned into a 2-way between Lidstone and Klein.
  • Pizza can be used as a Pokemon lure:

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The SweatSox are back in action tomorrow night when we take on the Capital City Cubs at Heritage.  The game is scheduled to start at 8:30pm, which means we should all be in Army’s hot tub by 10.

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