14 Breathtaking Things I’ve Learned So Far In Quarantine

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I haven’t learned much actually, except:

  1. It’s not Kent Johnston’s birthday.
  2. I’m not sure if I want a handjob, mouthjob, or button for my birthday, on March 4th.
  3. Josh Ramage’s imagination is remarkable.
  4. Kent Johnston needs to stay off the Internet.
  5. Gift cards are always part of successful scams.
  6. Mark Bond is the SweatSox Button.
  7. You can’t use credit from credit to buy credit to give to someone else.
  8. Quantity over quality, just like this team.
  9. A Toaster Strudel is greater than a Pop Tart. Just like cucumbers on a pizza, on this issue there can be NO debate!
  10. SweatSox stat padding – a time honored tradition.
  11. Chris Chapman’s screenshot game needs some work.
  12. “Always Shaun”
  13. Jaspreet Sanghra plagiarized me.
  14. We weren’t handing out RBI’s back then, we were just shortchanging runs scored. My runs scored.
  15. Marc Lett is detraining.
  16. Marigolds keep the pests away.
  17. The SweatSox are in a meeting.
  18. It’s confirmed that salt water + chlorine kills the COVID.
  19. He’s out if it starts at 3:30; but in if it starts before, even though he’s getting there at 4. 🤯
  20. Kent Johnston likes to keep things interesting.
  21. You had Ross at fuckin assholes.
  22. You’ve got to respect the signal.
  23. Craig Cornell is being ghosted by the state of Texas.
  24. 2:45pm.
  25. Kent Johnston is the SweatSox Ben Stein.
  26. If you’re going to drink hipster beer, you’ve got to have a hipster beard.
  27. Our time apart only brings us closer.
  28. If the KBO merged with the NCBL, we’d have a bunch of new half-decent Tier 4 teams.
  29. R.I.P. Temp #1A
  30. We were above average assholes in Tier 1.
  31. Craig Cornell does want to sit closer to his friends.
  32. Josh Ramage has some Flow.
  33. You might not want to order the 3am Blue Plate Special. Well, maybe you do.
  34. The SweatSox are Speedo sharers.
  35. Kent Johnston is not 215.
  36. I’m going to miss my OM season.
  37. Ross Hughes wishes.
  38. We forgot Bus Cop!
  39. Josh Ramage would never take a dump in the goat house pool.
  40. Everybody has a house cleaner in Findlay Creek.
  41. Josh Ramage is very white (x30).
  42. I’ve driven past Cardinal, Ontario hundreds of times in my life.
  43. So he was actually anti-homo then…
  44. …
  45. LMAO
  46. It’s pronounced “Nikolaj”.
  47. Josh Ramage doesn’t remember how or why Kent Johnston ran into a Cornwall locker.
  48. I am very ready to mingle.
  49. Josh Ramage doesn’t remember me having hair or being good.
  50. Sandra wants to make sure we “Watch out for that thunderstorm ⛈”
  51. I, Shaun Keay, am the SweatSox Godfather; and your wife’s second husband.
  52. There is a lot of semen in Marc Lett’s house.
  53. Family Fun Day’s need to make a comeback.
  54. Do not microwave Hampton Inn disposable coffee cups.
  55. Jaspreet is not the same as Jasmine.
  56. 🌈
  57. The only person that can take down Shang Tsung is Raiden.
  58. Craig Cornell loves it when a plan comes together.
  59. Cory Bond is the SweatSox Van Wilder; but I will not write that down, unless he dies.
  60. When Carleton was dancing, Prince was pooping.
  61. Josh Ramage will proudly reject any and all invitations he receives, unless it’s for a wedding, or a pool party.
  62. Kent Johnston’s pool is straight filth.
  63. Cock webs is an out of commission cock.
  64. Ross Hughes loves mushrooms.
  65. Andrew “Doc” Elias did not throw a no-hitter while high on LSD on or around this day 30 or 50 years ago.
  66. Math is hard.
  67. Mark Bond is a slow learner.
  68. Ross Hughes is slow.
  69. Nice.
  70. Josh Ramage’s thoughts are extremely harmful.
  71. Camping, drive though animals, and teammate ball rubbing are all ongoing.
  72. Graeme Nichols >> Eugene Melnyk.
  73. Eric White called Craig Cornell a list (like the website).
  74. Triple Chat Action!
  75. There’s gotta be so many good quotes in weed chat.
  76. Craig Brian Cornell should have stayed out of there.
  77. Josh Ramage wants more social gatherings on the mound.
  78. The SweatSox always cum first.
  79. Jaspreet Sanghra is the official practice catcher.
  80. It’s the blurple cheese that fucks him extra up.
  81. Chris Lidstone doesn’t wear pants very often these days, or in the old Petawawa days.
  82. Josh Ramage doesn’t like being photobombed.
  83. Zack Greinke is nice.
  84. Kent Johnston has never forgotten BananaGate.
  85. ABC, Always Believe Craig.
  86. Idiocracy!
  87. It’s not Trump’s fault.
  88. The first rule about weed chat, is you don’t talk about weed chat.
  89. It’s actually 3B+HPB, not BB+HBP.
  90. Josh Ramage lives on the corner of Offspeed Drive and Gravity Boulevard.
  91. If somebody gets caught stealing on a battery of Josh Ramage and Craig Cornell, that’s seriously one slow dude.
  92. I, Shaun Keay, should Drop It.