It was slow last week in the National Capital Baseball League, with happenings taking place across only a few of the NCBL’s digital platforms. Fortunately, only one person has the testicular fortitude to go through it all and break it down for you, and that person is I, Shaun Keay.
1. Off the Record
I’m trying to work on my interview skills for the coming season, so my week started by watching old episodes of Michael Landsberg’s Off the Record on TSN. Good show. But if those conversations were off the record, then why were we seeing it? Are you allowed to do that?
2. Disclaimer 2.0
My legal team has advised me that my disclaimer from last week wasn’t as iron clad as they’d like, and that I could still be prosecuted to the fullest if when I eventually say or do something inappropriate (if I haven’t already this week). The following should cover me moving forward:
This website is for entertainment purposes only.
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
No animals were harmed in the making of this recap; although I suppose I did eat some chicken wings at one point between edits (R.I.P. those chickens). And I guess we can’t ignore the unspeakable things I did to those chocolate bunnies while taking notes over the weekend. Correction: many animals were harmed in the making of this story. Sorry.
3. Facebook Free Agency
There were 2 free agents battling it out for a coveted NCBL roster spot last week over on Facebook:
- A guy who hasn’t played in 20+ years
- A guy who wants to be a Tier 4 spare
Chris Weber, a Texan who hasn’t played baseball since High School in the 90’s, is looking for a spot on a “Level 2” team, based on the recommendation of a random Kingston Umpire who’s favourite movie is Fifty Shades Darker. Louis Gadbois of the Black Sox is suspicious, no offense.
Dylan DeRepentigny (.113), a former Raider, Hurricane, and Lynx, took the unprecedented approach of trying to land a spot as a Tier 4 reserve. What isn’t known is if D. DeRepentigny is related to the F. DeRepentigny that hit .337 for the Beaver Lumber Athletics in the early 90’s. That’s the kind of thing managers like to know.
ProTip: Don’t ever put Tier 4 in your bio. That immediately eliminates you from Tiers 1-3, and the Tier 4 teams that are left are all trying to recruit Tier 1 talent to turn their franchises around (like the SweatSox did in ‘03). Just say you want Tier 1, and figure out how to not suck when tryouts come around.
Good luck to both players looking for spots.
4. April Fools Day
April 1st came and went last Thursday, and dozens of people slid into my DM’s asking if I, Shaun Keay, was going to post something foolish. Of course the answer was no, I don’t need to wait for April Fools to post something stupid, I already do that all the time.
Plus, anything I could’ve come up with would’ve been too obvious. Would anyone have believed either of these clearly faux AFD headlines?
- Here’s the 2019 Championship Recap!
- 2019 Championship Recap Coming Soon
- 2019 Championship Recap Coming Eventually
- Bill Beelen impeached, Craig Cornell named new NCBL Commissioner
- Joe Beelen reveals in the BrewerChat he really does like the SweatSox
- Winchester Heat to play all home games in Winchester this year
- City of Ottawa to open all baseball fields early
- Kent Johnston quits beer
- Cory Bond starts drinking beer
- Josh Ramage and Chris Lidstone start their own “Podcast of Friendship”
- Mark Bond stepped outside for the 1st time in over a year
- Shaun Keay is a phony
- Ross Hughes is well hung
- Marc Lett opens pool early, invites whole team over
- John Groves got the vax, while wearing a mask
- Dillon Lowry paid his league fees early
- Jason Klein purchased a Pizza Hut franchise
- Eric White gets a “fresh” new hand, uses it to finally throw Jas out of his house
See, too unbelievable.
5. Unhappy Easter
The NCBL Twitter account is no stranger to posting their well wishes on holidays. They’ve done it in the past on New Years, Christmas, Thanksgiving, and who could forget the infamous NCBL Arbor Day tweet, but for whatever reason they were silent over this past Easter weekend.
Did they not want us to have a Happy Easter? Unlikely. I’m going to assume that was just an oversight; so to avoid that in the future I suggest sending me the @NCBL login credentials, which I will use to make sure mistakes like this don’t happen again. #SweatSoxTakeOver
See you next week.
Yours,
Shaun Keay