NEPEAN/GLOUCESTER– You and your baseball team were playing against the Rockets the other day…
Last season (2019), the SweatSox swept the Rockets in the Tier 3 Semi-Finals, doing so in just under 48 hours. This year, the Rockets returned the favor and then some, sweeping your Stittsville SweatSox in just under 24.
The SweatSox/Rockets quarter-final series began 2 days ago at the Sportsplex, and featured a pregame appearance from NCBL Commissioner Bill Beelen to personally deliver the game balls. Bill always delivers the balls to the team he thinks is going to win the series, so it was no surprise that he walked right into the Rockets dugout… but nobody was there, so he had to come all the way over to ours.
The Commish also had game balls for the series that was starting right after ours (Braves vs Outlaws), and Billy needed someone “responsible” on our side to give the pearly whites to, so imagine my shock when he purposefully ignored me (Shaun Keay), his Tier 3 Social Media Committee Representative, and handed them to his precious NCBL Secretary. What have I ever done to you Bill?
Most of the SweatSox were fired up for Game 1, thanks to another inspirational pregame speech from team Authority Cory Bond. I wasn’t fooled by it; speeches don’t really get to me (Shaun Keay). If Cory really wanted to fire me up, get me hard, make it so I don’t commit a couple of questionable “errors” on D, he should’ve tricked me into playing hard out of spite; spite’s my jam. And if he wanted to fire Jaspreet Sanghra up, he should’ve given him some cocaine.
Despite a rather lackluster season, Josh Ramage got the surprise start for the SweatSox in Game 1. Something had been a little off with our Arsonist all season, but after he got power slammed (by me) then tea-bagged (technically also by me) on the 14th green at Irish Hills on Monday, we’re confident he’ll have no worries, for the rest of his days. Hakuna Matata.
“Playoff J” did not let us down, throwing 4 great innings before turning the ball over to the bullpen with the game tied at 3. Our relief special (and our greatest lefty ever) entered the game and threw a scoreless 5th, but everything fell apart in the 6th after a lead-off “dropped-third-strike-that-we-couldn’t-make-the-out-at-first-on”, snowballed into 6 unearned runs, and a 1-0 series lead for the Rockets.
Game 2 of the series took place last night at Trillium, thanks in large part to Eric White getting to the field super early and making it playable. In retrospect, maybe a delay would’ve been better for the SweatSox. Before this game too, NCBL Commissioner Bill Beelen showed up to pass along some game balls for the game right after ours, and guess who he gave them to? Wasn’t me.
Despite an injury plagued season, Mark Bond got the surprise start for the SweatSox in Game 2. Somehow, our Bus Cop was the most rested & least hurt member of our pitching staff, so it was up to him to extend our season; and after 14 years on the SweatSox it was about time he got his 1st career playoff start. Personally, I would’ve started GLE, our surefire Pitcher of the Year, even though he threw an inning the night before; but what do I know. ??♂️
Despite peppering the Rockets with rainbow & lollipop pitches in Game 1, the “Missiles” had seemingly little issue adapting to the power pitching of starter Mark Bond and reliever Eric White, scoring at least 1 run in each of their 5 innings pitched, for a grand total of 8.
The SweatSox offense was led by the Brothers Bond who combined for 4 of our 7 total hits, and 2 of our 3 total runs scored. Craig Cornell made an impression on this game as well, knocking both Bond’s in on a double to right-center in his first at bat, but then went down looking and had a few choice words for the umpire in and after his final AB. I’ve known Craig a long time, and let me go on the record and let all current and future umpires know that if Craig doesn’t swing at a pitch, it’s a ball, 100% of the time. Remember who signs your cheques folks. ?
John Groves closed the game (and the season) for the SweatSox, pitching the final 2 innings while facing the minimum (1H, DP), in what will probably be his final NCBL appearance ever. After the game, OMG voluntarily turned in his jersey, and later this week he’s flying to Central America, unsure if he’ll ever be allowed to return, or play if he does. If this was indeed his final game played, we thank you for your service JF576837. May there always be a hot corner nearby for you to cool off.
While the amateur baseball career of one Groves may have ended, one might just be getting started for another. Word came in just after our game that 2021 SweatSox Rookie of the Year frontrunner Nicholas “Nikolaj” Groves had made the 2021 University of Ottawa Baseball Team, that may or may not still be assistant coached by the 2018 SweatSox Rookie of the Year, Justin “Bunny” Pidhirny. Congrats Lil’ Groves, now start recruiting us some studs.
The Apres Season Hyjinx was hosted by Kyle Stewart, his final act as a SweatSox “Rookie”. Lil’ Kicks even invited a few Dukes to our circle random shape, so Cory could start recruiting for next season. Unsurprisingly, it looks like he closed every deal, and we’ll have Stef Leclair, Louis Gadbois, and Ryan Stewart joining us next season, which is perfectly clean & legal since they’re all coming up from Tier 4, and not down from Tier 2. No Asterisks here, although Dave Steffler is always welcome to join us too..
The Main Event of the night was Game 1 of Misfits (#3) vs Lumberjacks (#2), where naturally the Misfits were the home team. We watched helplessly as the Lumberjacks did everything they could to hold onto an early lead against the Misfits, but that’s a task no true Tier 3 team could hope to accomplish. The Misfits won the game, will undoubtedly win the series, and I’m calling it right now: Misfits over the Rockets in 4 in the Finals.
Elsewhere at Trillium, Cory Bond was busy conducting his Apres Season exit interviews with each of the SweatSox. I’m told nothing shocking came from these one-on-ones: Josh Ramage wants everyone cut, Craig Cornell wants out of the outfield, Eric White wants a few extra bodies on the team next year so he has access to a few extra body parts if needed, Ross Hughes wants to golf more, Mark Bond wants less roofs, and Kent Johnston wants the 2022 season cancelled because according to his homemade radar:
Final SweatSox vs Rockets Quarter-Final Notes/Thoughts:
- The SweatSox considered performing the “Haka Dance” before Game 1, but we decided to save that for the finals instead
- Rocket John Carbonette fixed the strike zone for everyone after he struck out looking in Game 1 at arguably the most outside strike in the history of baseball, and had a few choice words for the umpire
- Eric White has not taught Jaspreet Sanghra bunting yet
- Cory Bond never delays
- Craig Cornell wore his lucky Cornell University t-shirt under his jersey
- Chris Lidstone forgot his jersey at home
- Mike Bayley is a double fist hammerer
- Craig Cornell has now batted in 7 different spots in the batting order so far this year: 5, 2, 1, 6, 4, 3, and most recently 7
- The SweatSox defense collapsed just after Mrs. Chris left the game (coincidence?)
- Jaspreet Sanghra will swing at a 3-0 pitch if he wants to, ok?
- Per Josh Ramage, the Ramage Protocol was not followed in RF
- Craig Cornell forgot his glove at the field
- Marc Lett knows actual science
- The “Sweat Trough” got filled
- Craig Cornell has trouble with fly balls at twilight, and flying beer cans at night
- If there ever was a SweatSox Survivor, Cory Bond would host, Marc Lett would win, and Eric White would be voted off first
- The SweatSox know all about Jaspreet Sanghra’s personal affairs
- Rory sounds like a real douche
- Apparently, not everyone knows about Shohei
- Nobody cares about anybody’s fantasy team
- Only old timers make reservations for midnight on a Tuesday
- Nothing brings the SweatSox together like ripping on Jaspreet Sanghra
- You can’t teach greatness, but you can teach mediocrity
- Leading off, we’ve got Eric, we’ve got Kent Kent, we’ve got Stewart.
- Michael Bayley was once cut by the Raiders, and still isn’t happy with their stats guy
- Cory Bond is at least twice the size he was when he entered the league in 2003
- Mark Bond and Eric White both threw balls deep into the Trillium parking lot from the pitching mound
- Somebody was smoking cigars on the Summerhays patio ramp
- Mark Bond really did want a menu
- Josh Ramage participated in the first ever chicken wing standoff, and won
- Evidently, the SweatSox do track stats in the playoffs
- Shang Chi is Cory Bond’s 8th favourite MCU Movie
- Avengers: Endgame
- Thor: Ragnarok
- Captain America: Winter Soldier
- Doctor Strange
- Spider-Man: Far From Home
- Captain Marvel
- Captain America: Civil War
- Shang-Chi
- Avengers: Infinity War
- Avengers: Age of Ultron
- Iron Man 2
- Spider-Man: Homecoming
- Captain America
- Thor
- Guardians of the Galaxy
- Iron Man
- Avengers
- Iron Man 3
- Black Panther
- Ant-Man
- Thor 2
- Ant-Man and the Wasp
- Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
- Cory still hasn’t seen Black Widow, he’s cheap so needs to wait until it’s free on Disney+
