NEPEAN– Yesterday, the Stittsville SweatSox and Rideau Valley Reapers were set to face each other for the first time ever, but for the 6th time this year, our game was cancelled. It’s really a shame too, because the SweatSox were going to field one of the most legendary lineups we’ve ever had.
During the pre-game roll call, we found out that 8 of our 15 players were out, which meant we needed to find 1 player to avoid a default, 2 players to avoid an automatic out, and 3 players to be safe in case there was an injury or someone bailed at the last minute.
SPARE #1: The SweatSox Powers That Be worked tirelessly behind the scenes to find the right combination of spares. The priority was finding someone to counter Reapers stud Brenden Ellingham, so we went all out and recruited none other than future first ballot NCBL Hall of Famer, and current Emergency Spare: Sir Patrick Lyons! And boom goes the dynamite.
SPARE #2: We also re-recruited one-time SweatSox alumnus Shane White, brother of Eric, father-in-law to Jas, to help us out.
SPARE #3: And for good measure, we went back to the Emergency Spare list and signed Alex Lipman to a one-game contract. We recruited him because we played against him in the past (Winchester, Cardinals, Expos), and definitely not because of his last name and the joke potential. Oh what could’ve been…
There is no word on when this game will be rescheduled, but we do know it will not be a weekend game.
Final SweatSox vs Reapers Rainout Notes/Thoughts:
- Jas is likely, maybe injured.
- You’re a confirmed baller if your glasses are upside down.
- Is massive diarrhea a covid symptom?
- Forget his .706 average, Josh needs to up his stolen base total if he wants to play on a Misfits tournament team.
- The collective weight of the SweatSox outfield is also 706.
- Mark Bond plays volleyball and softball, but not baseball.
- R.I.P. Brewer Tournament 2022
- Josh’s pitching is very soothing.
- Cory smashes five guys once a week. That’s what he said.
- Can 2 of those five guys play ball tomorrow?
- Josh gets mad when trees get lost.
- Tornadoes are just something people say on weather conspiracy theory websites.
- Larry was furious he was going to miss the Shane/Lyons game.
- Ross is sorry he can’t play. Jeez (Louise?)
- All the SweatSox failed English.
- Pat doesn’t bat lower than cleanup.
- Eric will play in a lake, but not a tornado.
- Jas should be pre-booking appointments with a podiatrist, chiropractor, cardiologist, urologist, and gynecologist, in anticipation of his future injuries.
- Kent’s a chud, per Josh Ramage.
- Craig went to the office for nothing.
- Confirmation codes are stupid.
- There are always cold beers at 3065 Beaverton.
#TOPOFTHEMUFFINTOYOU!