HAMILTON YARDS– On August 12th, the SweatSox ate, we ate some more, we ate a little more after we ate some more, and then finally after eating a little more after we ate some more, we ate the rest. Hours before we ate this spread of all spreads, we beat Los Latinos 10-2 at the Sportsplex, sweeping the season series 3 goose.
Josh Ramage got the start for the SweatSox, in a game he was told he needed to prove his worth otherwise he’d likely be left off our playoff roster. Ramage answered the challenge as only he could, with grace and humility, and then went out and pitched a 7-inning gem, giving up just 5 hits, 2 walks, 1 earned run, with 4 strikeouts. Ramage also went 2/2 at the dish, with a double (and a slide), and 2 runs batted in. Unfortunately, this performance was not good enough for even an honourable mention in that week’s POW. As the Tier 1 Ravens would say: Suspect.
Shoutout to Ross Hughes who got a POW honourable mention for his performance against the Latinos, going 2/3 with a double, 3 RBI, a run scored, and a walk. ?
Now that the SweatSox are playing a real schedule without a rainout every other game, the injuries, both HBP and non-HBP related, are starting to pile up. Chris Lidstone’s back is still sore from carrying us in Tier 1 that one year, Cory Bond has a quad something-or-other, and Josh Ramage’s throat has to be hurting from all the yelling at SweatSox he does. Then tonight in the third inning, Kent Johnston pulled his groin, and then himself, after a successful stolen base; and then a few batters later Dave Rotari also pulled his groin and himself, after drawing a walk. We have not yet confirmed if these 2 groin pulls are somehow related.
Unfortunately we have some more bad news to share, this time about one of our all-time favourite umpires: Jean Lazure. The former Gryphon General will be turning himself in (if he hasn’t already) for disciplinary action for umpiring this game out of proper uniform. The Milwaukee native forgot his hat to do the bases! Uh oh!!! We tried to help him out by offering up a SweatSox hat, or a batting helmet with chin strap, that might’ve saved him from his inevitable 1 game suspension and/or official reprimand, but he ever so kindly refused. Good luck in the NCBL courts my friend, hope you know a good lawyer.
I can’t believe it’s taken this long, but of course we have to talk about that epic Eric White (batter) vs Paul Septimo (pitcher) battle we saw tonight. None of us will ever forget, nor will we ever stop talking about, that crazy knee buckling strikeout Eric had in their 2nd of 3 head-to-head matchups. We’ve never seen Eric look so outmatched before. Strike 3 was so good, Eric was complementing it as it was crossing the plate. We’re not sure why Septimo intentionally walked him in his final at bat though…
And finally, the SweatSox would like to acknowledge everyone who was able to get to this 6:10pm game on time after the Queensway was partly shut down for the weekend, affecting east-west corridors throughout the city. Kent noted earlier in the day that when he was out and about, he’d never seen Baseline busier.
Final SweatSox vs Los Latinos Notes/Thoughts:
- Before you put your pants on, you’re a cuck, but when they’re on, you’re a man.
- Ross is no man.
- Cory knows how to do eyes.
- I am not a part of the all-star infield. Scoop, there it is.
- Why do you think Kent lives in a bungalow?
- “She” said go straight through to the back.
- Add Kent’s tibialis to the list of SweatSox injuries.
- The more excuses someone has heading into a game, the better.
- It’s always best to pour beer into someone’s hand rather than hit them in the face with the can.
- Kent clearly has never taken a marketing class.
- Cory would go anywhere for golf. But he won’t go there. Oh, he won’t go there.
- Los Latinos have an Autobot in their arsenal.
- The only 2 players to get called for 2 balks in the same inning in baseball history: Josh Ramage, and Raul De Leon.
- Ross is a big boy so he gets a big beer.
- Cory is ABE, Always Be Electrolyting.
- Surprise, surprise. Ross had some trunk ‘za stashed away.
- I, Shaun Keay, had an anti-reverse double tonight.
- The exit velocity on the liner Josh caught was clocked at 114.69 mph.
- Kent has gone down the rabbit hole.
- Marc knows a lot about COX.
- Kent had the rare jersey HBP that didn’t giggle the titties.
- Jas doesn’t actually live under the deck, right?
- Josh ruined the HR surprise.
- Did I not mention the HR yet?
- Jas went for the hour long boom-boom boom-boom (aka Quad Boom).
- We never did get to peek inside the Houdini Shack.
- Jason’s finishing move is the dick punch.
- Kent calculated he’s eaten 20,000+ rolls in his life.
- There was a dent in the deck after Liddy dropped a half can of beer during #ShotGunOff2022.
- There was a house fire not too far from where our Arsonist was having his late night Chew. Coincidence?
- Big THANKS to the White’s for hosting this epic Hyjinx.
- Joshua from Oshawa has never had sex nachos:
PS– Oh yeah, and Eric hit a homer.