{"id":2048,"date":"2019-05-13T22:25:51","date_gmt":"2019-05-14T02:25:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/?p=2048"},"modified":"2019-05-13T23:28:40","modified_gmt":"2019-05-14T03:28:40","slug":"the-sex-triangle-recap-vs-team-cuba","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/2019\/05\/13\/the-sex-triangle-recap-vs-team-cuba\/","title":{"rendered":"The Sex Triangle | RECAP vs Team Cuba"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

HERITAGE<\/em>– The 2019 SweatSox season officially kicked off last night in Orleans, where we opened against the Cubans; real Cubans, not the cigars.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

City of Ottawa Project Manager of Business Support Services in the Recreational, Cultural and Facilities Services Department Craig Cornell wasn\u2019t quite sure how the SweatSox would play, given that the fields had only been open for 2 full days, so we obviously<\/em> weren\u2019t able to have any practices on city owned fields.\u00a0\u00a0Doing so could not only ruin the fields or get somebody hurt, but NCBL permits could be rescinded, and at least one person\u2019s job at 100 Constellation Drive could be lost.\u00a0\u00a0No thanks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If the lack of practice wasn\u2019t enough, the SweatSox nearly started the season off one big, powerful, sexy man down, when Chris Lidstone got to the park and realized his most recent trip to the bathroom just before he left didn\u2019t quite take. The public washrooms were locked, and there weren\u2019t enough leaves on the trees in the woods to properly camouflage this most dangerous of missions (or to provide the necessary\u2026 cleaner).  The Pipelayer\u2019s only option was to find a more suitable and sanitary facility, which turned out to be the nearest gas station. Would he be able to make it back in time for first pitch though?  Yes; since he got to the park at 7pm, 1.5 hours early, after a terrible miscalculation about travel time from Barrhaven on a Sunday night.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

After all that, we did end up being one starting second baseman short after Ross Hughes showed up to the field without his cleats.\u00a0\u00a0We still don\u2019t have confirmation that he\u2019s found them yet, although it\u2019s quite possible he left them at ComicCon on Saturday, where he was cosplaying as a fat, alcoholic, baseball player from Asgard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

OK \u2013 So we didn\u2019t practice, we don\u2019t have a sponsor from Pepto Bismol, we didn\u2019t bring enough spikes, oh and Mark Bond bailed on bringing beer an hour before the game once he realized The Beer Store was closed (finally a veteran move by Cop), what else could possibly go wrong?\u00a0\u00a0Well, as the dugouts cleared from the game before us, a game in which former SweatSox Brian Yabsley led an epic Duke comeback, NCBL Registrar Joe Beelen maliciously attacked our bench with an unprovoked verbal assault.\u00a0\u00a0How dare he openly root for the opposing Team Cuba, instead of the team with the NCBL Treasurer, Secretary, and Director of Tier 3 Social Media.\u00a0\u00a0What did I, Shaun Keay, ever do to you Joe?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No practice, no TP, no cleats, no beer, and vocally mugged by the 2016 NCBL Volunteer of the Year (who was also the 1999 Tier 1 Sportsman), that had to be the lowest we\u2019d feel all night, right?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We can add the top of the first inning to the list above.  Team Cuba took an immediate 3-0 lead, after 3 SweatSox errors led to 2 unearned runs.  It was the first ever Cuban lead over the SweatSox, a streak that lasted 3 full games and 17 total innings.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

FUN FACT<\/em><\/strong>: The first ever Cuban run against the SweatSox happened in the 2015 Heritage Classic, when Craig Cornell gave up a 5th inning unearned run.\u00a0\u00a0It was unearned thanks to a very rare Kent Johnston E8.\u00a0\u00a0There was no shutout.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The SweatSox got to work in the bottom half of the first, getting one of those runs back when the reigning (and final) Panthers batting champion Eric White scored on a Dillon Lowry sacrifice fly.  Chris Lidstone nearly ruined it by almost getting doubled off at second; he was a bit slow getting back to the base because, you know, the poops.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

White found his rhythm in the second, facing a total of 10 batters over the next 3 innings, allowing the SweatSox offense to get back to work quickly every time.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The bottom of the 2nd saw “Sexy Eyes” Craig Cornell with a prime opportunity to push a couple runs into scoring position, but his swing was feeling great after a long winter playing with himself in his garage, so he swung for the fences…\u00a0\u00a0The at bat didn\u2019t go as planned (K).\u00a0\u00a0The SweatSox would still score 3 runs in the inning, taking our first lead of the game, and the season.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We\u2019d get shutout in the 3rd, but just like a former Subway Sandwich Artist (or Golden Arches Crew Member) in the shower 364<\/em> days a year, we\u2019d blow things wide open in the 4th, scoring 8 runs on 6 hits.\u00a0\u00a0This breakout inning was also the coming out party for SweatSox rookie Jaspreet Sanghra, who was making his NCBL debut.\u00a0\u00a0Princess Jasmine started the game being DH\u2019d for, ran for me after I, Shaun Keay, crushed a leadoff double off the fence, and then with the base-running recklessness of Armando Navarro circa 2005-2017, somehow safely made it home to score his first career run. The SweatSox batted around in the 4th, meaning Bollywood got his first career AB that inning too. OBL made the most of it, knocking a two-strike double to right field.\u00a0Welcome to the SweatSox, Croissant!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Needing 1 run to end the game in the 5th, Jason Klein led off with his first hit of the year, made it to 2nd on a rare SweatSox hit and run (you see we\u2019re more of a hit it and quit it kind of team), and then scored on a walk-off pinch hit by Mark Bond.\u00a0\u00a0SweatSox win 13-3.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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FINAL: SweatSox 13. Cuba 3.

WP- White? (1-0)
LP- Murphy

*I just got home from the Hyjinx. I won\u2019t be able to watch TV until the morning. I have \u201cit\u201d PVR\u2019d. And I\u2019m doing all I can to avoid spoilers. So please don\u2019t tell me what happened in the Raptors-76ers game.#ncbl30<\/a> pic.twitter.com\/vkwfLXJ1sg<\/a><\/p>— SweatSox (@SweatSox) May 13, 2019<\/a><\/blockquote>