{"id":2500,"date":"2020-07-02T10:14:07","date_gmt":"2020-07-02T14:14:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/2020\/07\/02\/14-cowabungan-things-ive-learned-so-far-in-quarantine\/"},"modified":"2020-07-02T10:14:07","modified_gmt":"2020-07-02T14:14:07","slug":"14-cowabungan-things-ive-learned-so-far-in-quarantine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/2020\/07\/02\/14-cowabungan-things-ive-learned-so-far-in-quarantine\/","title":{"rendered":"14 Cowabungan Things I\u2019ve Learned So Far In Quarantine"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

What I know: He’s going to Toronto ?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

What I learned:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. I, Shaun Keay, do not write what is written.<\/li>
  2. Craif is a verb.<\/li>
  3. Josh Ramage is full of \u201cinappropriate comments\u201d.<\/li>
  4. Cory Bond planned smartly.<\/li>
  5. Mrs. Cop wears the pants, sandals, and checkered shirts in the family.<\/li>
  6. Cory Bond pulled-out with Liddy in Chicago.<\/li>
  7. Allanal nobaby.<\/li>
  8. At some point this year, the SweatSox are going to drop back to back to back to back bunts.<\/li>
  9. Craig Cornell\u2019s blood pressure is rising.<\/li>
  10. It\u2019s exhausting carrying the franchise, as I found out between \u201898-\u201802.<\/li>
  11. Some of the greatest people in human history had early onset osteoporosis.<\/li>
  12. It\u2019s all how you spin it.<\/li>
  13. Nobody knows what a car has to do with orphaned kids.<\/li>
  14. Cory Bond is no Bill Freeman.<\/li>
  15. Keep them off the pole. Dig them out of a hole. Get them to smoke a bowl.<\/li>
  16. You had Ross Hughes at pole.<\/li>
  17. It was not, in fact, 4pm somewhere.<\/li>
  18. Kent Johnston is disturbed.<\/li>
  19. Mark Bond conceded that Josh Ramage wasn\u2019t wrong.<\/li>
  20. If anyone donates $5 to the SweatSox, we will remember them.<\/li>
  21. The water feature at Kent Johnston\u2019s pool is temporarily closed.<\/li>
  22. Ride the lightning.<\/li>
  23. Craig Cornell can throw.<\/li>
  24. What in the actual fuck was wrong with those fuckos?<\/li>
  25. Something is starting to grow on Craig Cornell.<\/li>
  26. The Fucko is better than the Odlid.<\/li>
  27. When Craig Cornell goes to A&W, he always gets a root beer.<\/li>
  28. Anything can be done for the \u201cbest interests of baseball\u201d.<\/li>
  29. I, Shaun Keay, am a hockey guy.<\/li>
  30. Who the fuck is Mystery Team?<\/li>
  31. ? + ? + ? + ? = ?<\/li>
  32. Ross Hughes has been to more than one rodeo.<\/li>
  33. Josh Ramage loves Kent Johnston and Ross Hughes.<\/li>
  34. Ross Hughes loves lamp.<\/li>
  35. Kent Johnston has a very strange love for double rainbows.<\/li>
  36. Mark Bond is the SweatSox Chooch.<\/li>
  37. Kent Johnston is the SweatSox Diaper Man.<\/li>
  38. You never want to be near the top, or even on, Bus Cop\u2019s Power Rankings.<\/li>
  39. You can put a price on the gift of time.<\/li>
  40. Josh wipes.<\/li>
  41. Hanes Men\u2019s Tagless Tanks from Walmart are not racist, and they do not in any way encourage domestic violence.<\/li>
  42. If Rafiki looks any harder at Craig Cornell\u2019s shoes, he\u2019ll go blind.<\/li>
  43. It\u2019s not a dick move to go stand in line at a store for a couple of hours.<\/li>
  44. Kent Johnston\u2019s forecasts are in midseason form.<\/li>
  45. Josh Ramage\u2019s balls are in storage.<\/li>
  46. Uncle Eric White is the SweatSox Bringer of Beer.<\/li>
  47. When Craig Cornell turns his hat around, things are about to get cool.<\/li>
  48. A hidden beer during a boring Wednesday afternoon Zoom meeting never hurt anyone.<\/li>
  49. R.I.P. Marc Sports.<\/li>
  50. R.I.P. Mudd.<\/li>
  51. 7 girls and 2 guys is a strong pool party ratio.<\/li>
  52. There\u2019s no doubt about it, that stud fucks.<\/li>
  53. Disabling the iPhone tracker is key to a successful day at work.<\/li>
  54. Craig Cornell\u2019s spikes are like a solar eclipse. You can\u2019t look directly at them.<\/li>
  55. Kent Johnston has cenosillicaphobia.<\/li>
  56. Cory Bond has anti-cenosillicaphobia.<\/li>
  57. Josh Ramage is pretty certain he\u2019s not the newest SweatDad.<\/li>
  58. ? When your foot is full of gout, and your joints start to go out: osteoarthritis ?<\/li>
  59. If someone is going to inherit a legit pool someday, he makes the team no questions asked.<\/li>
  60. In an 8 game season, you have to play in 2 to qualify for the playoffs.<\/li>
  61. She showed up after work.<\/li>
  62. Kent Johnston is a fuckass. -K1<\/li>
  63. Craig Cornell is happy we brought Josh Ramage back.<\/li>
  64. Josh Ramage is still feeling Burlington, emotionally.<\/li>
  65. The birth of Mr. Winchester outweighs a HR from yours truly.<\/li>
  66. Ross Hughes is too fat to walk.<\/li>
  67. Kent Johnston\u2019s fat ass needs the steps.<\/li>
  68. The Thermostat Simulator is set to 69 degrees.<\/li>
  69. Nice.<\/li>
  70. The GoatHouse theme song is Hell Yeah by Rev Theory. The official anthem is Ninja Rap by Vanilla Ice.<\/li>
  71. The Ninja Turtles kick so much ass.<\/li>
  72. The Green Machine has nothing on the official WeedChat name.<\/li>
  73. Craig Cornell would like to wish Edward Brown a Sad DeathNight.<\/li>
  74. Kent Johnston wants 12 ribs.<\/li>
  75. Ross Hughes also wants ribs, after he takes a shit.<\/li>
  76. A 2020 SweatEuroTrip may now be in play.<\/li>
  77. Mark Bond respects the dedication.<\/li>
  78. Josh Ramage wants Cory Bond to eat more vegetables, and less candy.<\/li>
  79. The SweatSox and Canada Day are not in the same bubble.<\/li>
  80. Mark Bond is attending a mandatory \u201cNew Father Seminar\u201d this Friday night from about 8pm until 3am.<\/li>
  81. The key to a successful marriage is respecting the decisions made while sober.<\/li>
  82. Mark Bond doesn\u2019t know the difference between Major and Minor.<\/li>
  83. Craig Cornell is going to miss blowing water through pool noodles into his friends\u2019 faces.<\/li>
  84. Like Bobby Bonilla, Cory Bond has deferred payments set up so that the SweatSox will still be paying him long after he retires.<\/li>
  85. Josh Ramage believes in a good coffee shit before the brews.<\/li>
  86. If you can\u2019t cream, Ross Hughes isn\u2019t interested.<\/li>
  87. Jesus\u2019 bumper sticker reads: What Can\u2019t Shaun Do?<\/li>
  88. I wasn\u2019t home. Someone must have set off all my fireworks.<\/li>
  89. The maid was not cleaning.<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
    \"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    What I know: He’s going to Toronto ? What I learned: I, Shaun Keay, do not write what is written. Craif is a verb. Josh Ramage is full of \u201cinappropriate comments\u201d. Cory Bond planned smartly. Mrs. Cop wears the pants, sandals, and checkered shirts in the family. Cory Bond pulled-out with Liddy in Chicago. Allanal…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2499,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2500","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-recap"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/07\/img_9134.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p41pWP-Ek","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2500","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2500"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2500\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2499"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2500"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2500"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2500"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}