{"id":2957,"date":"2021-10-27T01:10:37","date_gmt":"2021-10-27T05:10:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/?p=2957"},"modified":"2021-10-27T01:15:17","modified_gmt":"2021-10-27T05:15:17","slug":"sweatsox-win-cartier-calamity-classic","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sweatsoxbaseball.com\/blog\/2021\/10\/27\/sweatsox-win-cartier-calamity-classic\/","title":{"rendered":"SweatSox Win Cartier Calamity Classic"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

AYLMER<\/strong>– This past weekend, the SweatSox participated in the 2021 Cartier Calamity Classic, an expert level golf tournament hosted by Los Vampiros, and just like a Tier 3 team dropping down to Tier 4, we of course won top prize.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

*We also finished last.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The 7-team 4-man scramble was played at Chateau Cartier, a course Derek Allen correctly predicted would be\u00a0 \u201cchewed up worse than Jenna Jameson\u2019s vaj\u201d. The tournament field was made up of SweatSox, Vampires (both Reverse and Spanish), Green Bombers, a golf pro, multiple potheads, and even more drunks. It really was anybody’s to win.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The SweatSox entered 2 teams of equal skill in the Cartier Calamity Classic, by using the most recent 2021 SweatSox Golf Association rankings to split the players up evenly.  We paired the 1st, 4th, 5th, and 8th ranked golfers with numbers 2, 3, 6, and 7.  Basically an autopick snake draft.  It was the only fair way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

  1. Kent Johnston<\/li>
  2. Cory Bond<\/li>
  3. Shaun Keay<\/li>
  4. Ross Hughes<\/li>
  5. Mark Bond<\/li>
  6. Marc Lett<\/li>
  7. Josh Ramage<\/li>
  8. Chris Lidstone<\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n

    Team 3 (aka Team Cory Bond, aka The Quad Side) was the 1st SweatSox team to tee-off, at exactly 10:14am.\u00a0 Our baseball GLE, who has mastered left handed golf and now swings righty just for the challenge, was expected to lead our team to an easy 1st place finish, but he showed up Saturday morning completely broken after a golf-cart ban at Kanata Lakes the day before forced him to walk a course for the very first time, ultimately destroying his mind, body, and soul.\u00a0 I\u2019m shocked he was able to even roll out of bed that morning.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I, Shaun Keay, ended up carrying our team, which wasn\u2019t a good sign for our championship aspirations.  We finished with a disappointing +12 (82).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    Team 4 (aka Team Kent Johnston) was exactly that, Team \u201cKent Johnston\u201d. Our Director of Green, arguably the greatest amateur golfer in the National Capital and the surrounding area (and probably even the surrounding area of the surrounding area), might as well have been playing solo. Team 4 played nearly 100% of the Angry Center Fielder’s shots, save for 3 on the strategic \u201celiminator hole\u201d, where only one shot per person was allowed to be used.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Johnston had two birdies and two bogeys on the front to sit a discouraging<\/em> even par at the turn. Luckily, the beer kicked in on the back, and he sank 3 birdies to go along with 6 pars, finishing with a -3 (67), just enough to secure the tournament win for the SweatSox, and the grand prize payout of exactly $1,400 ($50 buy-in x 28 players), which he’s putting towards our NCBL team fees next season.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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    It was a fantastic time for most, although Josh Ramage was upset most of the day that he was only going to swing a club 82 times, instead of his usual 125 (he wanted the extra practice).\u00a0 The afternoon did take a hard, vibrating turn when Team 4\u2019s Bus Cop discovered a used sexual pleasuring device in the rough just past the 10th green, which he so kindly left in the cup in case the person who lost it ever came back looking.\u00a0 If it remains unclaimed, this may be a new SweatSox Game Day Award next year, since the last one worked out so well for us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Speaking of honours, here are the official Cartier Calamity Classic Tournament Awards, as voted on by all the participants:<\/p>\n\n\n\n