Last night, the 2013 SweatSox Extravaganza got underway with the annual Poker/Hyjinx night. It was the first official team event since winning the Championship, which may have been why we had a record amount of attendees: the SweatSox still had some celebrating to do!
With “first shuffle” scheduled for 7:00pm sharp, we didn’t actually get started until about 8:00pm, because that’s when Marc “Grand Slam Guy” Lett made his fashionably late entrance, to an ovation twice as long and twice as loud as the one Peyton Manning got in his return to Indianapolis tonight.
When all the hugs, kisses, and other promised “favours” were complete, it was time to get down to business.
Game 1 featured 12 players, all vying for a record high winner-take-all $1,400 in prize money. In 12th place, was the man who drew the big walk that got the Grand Slam inning started: Mark Stinson.
Finishing in 11th place was the man with the big 2-RBI hit in the 6th inning that got us back in the game, setting the stage for the 7th inning slam: Craig Cornell.
He had the biggest hit in SweatSox history, but he wasn’t very clutch last night when he finished in 10th place: Marc Lett.
Tied for 8th place was a man who has to walk on crutches for a few more months, and a man who for years has been our crutch (because he’s so bad at baseball): Denver Hunt, and Ross Hughes.
In 7th place was the man who must have visited the local anti-aging clinic, because he certainly wasn’t pitching like an old man this year: John Groves.
In 6th place was the Doctor who kept us all on track throughout the playoffs with our steroid cycles: Andrew Elias.
In 5th place was our host for the evening, who almost made his 1st career pitching change during our final game, but was a few seconds slower than The Authority: Kent Johnston.
In 4th place was the man who got the nod both on Opening Day and Game 1 of the Finals, and lost both: Josh Ramage.
We had a tie for 2nd place: one man was the game tying run on the Grand Slam, and the other brought SuperFan Mindy into our lives: Mark Bond, and Chris Lidstone.
Which means your 2013 Poker Champion is the man who made right call after right call all season long as our Manager, and who seemed to make every right call on just about every hand: Cory Bond. Cory, our Sportsmanship & Ability nominee, felt so bad about taking everyone’s money, he decided to spread the wealth and give runner-ups Lidstone & Cop some spending money, as well as giving Ramage his buy-in back. Cory also agreed to sit out the 2nd poker game, so others would have a chance at being a winner.
Game 2 Poker Results:
9. Marc Lett
8. Mark Bond
7. Chris Lidstone
6. Andrew Elias
4. Kent Johnston
4. Josh Ramage
3. I, Shaun Keay
2. John Groves
1. Craig Cornell
Part 2 of the Weekend Extravaganza was SweatSox Golf, which took place earlier today. Stay tuned for details.
#WONTHEHYJINX
