With today being January 1st (not the 31st), I thought I’d reflect on one of, if not the greatest season in SweatSox history: 2013. We have no idea what 2014 will bring, but here is a look at the past 12 months:
January
Marc Lett and Rodney Walsh make physical contact with one another for the first time since “The Concussion”…
February
The 2013 SweatSox Summit took place. We accomplished nothing, except Denver Hunt being elected Chief Fundraising Officer. Could we finally become the 2nd fully sponsored NCBL team?
March
Eric White hosted his first ever Poker Hyjinx, with the Brothers Bond splitting the pot after a very generous draw offer from the higher stack Cory Bond. Later that night, we got hammered and drunk-offered Chris Lidstone a spot on the team. It was also in March when we began advertising for #Relaunch2013 – once again, it was a complete letdown. Finally, Cory took The Head on a road trip, making a pit stop at the site of GLE’s Nepean Brewer no-hitter.
April
April started off with Chris “forgetting” to pick up Mindy after a Hyjinx; we’re guessing this wasn’t the first time, nor would it be the last. Josh Ramage’s surprise birthday party was also in April; but it was also an excuse to post sponsorship letters in the restaurant’s bathroom! The Dukes challenged us to an exhibition game, which we’d later learn would end up being their only blemish on their apres baseball record. In late April, SweatSox pitchers & catchers reported to training camp. John Groves credits this extra practice as the key to his 2013 success.
May
Bus Cop wore women’s clothing, the SweatSox beat the Dukes to finish 1-0 in preseason action, Lidstone pledged his loyalty to the New York Yankees, and Mrs. Craig threw Snoop a surprise masquerade birthday party.
The SweatSox finished May with a 2-2 regular season record, which began with a devastating 1-0 opening day loss to the Braves. Things turned around in game 2 with a win against the Cardinals, which left Marc Lett with a swollen hand. OML got it checked out, and doctors told him the side effects of such an injury could include periods of remarkable clutch hitting.
Later in May, the Gryphons called us catholic schoolgirls which led to a tier-wide debate of 1 vs 2 vs 3 vs 4 vs 5. And finally, Cory played in his 100th consecutive game in a 5-1 win vs the Braves.
June
The SweatSox finished June with a 3-4 record, still alternating wins and losses each game. The game of the month was probably coming back from 10-1 vs the Expos to win 12-11, with Marc Lett recording the walk off RBI single, undoubtedly that would have to be his highlight of the year? It was also in June where the SweatSox lost 2-1 to the Athletics, noteworthy only because this was Cory’s only start of the regular season.
Off the field, the “i” in OML’s SIEMEN truck fell off, Eric White ate a 4 patty burger at Rockwells, Lidstone paid his rookie dues by sharing a hot dog with Denver, we met Jiggy, Josh Ramage got his boot, and Denver’s Miami Heat won the NBA Championship.
July
After tying the Gryphons, the SweatSox travelled to Cornwall to face the River Rats. We’d end up winning 1-0, but the celebration was cut short when we found out Marc’s truck was broken into and his phone was stolen. He’d never see that phone again, and vowed that at some point, when it counted most, he’d get his revenge against the city that wronged him.
On July 11th, after an unexpected duty payment, the jerseys arrived. The Sox would rattle off 5 consecutive wins in the new colours, along the way meeting Kim, Scuba Steve, and the Eiffel Tower. We also saved an umpire’s life, learned about 401 handjobs, and tweeted our 1000th tweet.
We finished July with a 6-2-1 record, and Mark Stinson finished one night with just 3 hours sleep…
August
We started August off with a loss vs the Mudd, then rattled off 3 straight wins to finish the regular season in 4th place. The Brothers Bond had HR’s in the first of those wins, John Groves pitched a 5+ inning gem in the second win, and in the season finale Denver Hunt picked up the win in his 1st career start.
It was in August that I, Shaun Keay, got out of a Hunt Club speeding ticket, all Cory’s Pepsi’s paid off at a RIDE Program, we had the first recorded SuperHyjinx, Kent made his own L-Screen, and the SweatSox had a 6-some, not to be confused with this threesome (not that there’s anything wrong with that):
August was also when the Tier II quarter-finals took place, and that’s where we faced the Winchester Sox in a best-of-three. Mark Dorrington picked up the win in game 1, and John Groves picked up the series clinching win in game 2 in Winchester. Eric White, rocking a THC moniker, got the save in both games.
September
The Tier II semi-finals took place in September, and our opponents were the two time defending champion Athletics. Having no faith we’d play into September, Craig Cornell booked a completely cancellable vacation, and yet still chose to miss the whole series. We won game 1 using our OMS cheat code, but in game 2 Dustin Paquette wouldn’t even let us touch third base, which meant we were going to a winner-take-all game 3. In what will later be described as the greatest game (not necessarily finish) we’ve ever played, the SweatSox were victorious in extra innings, winning 4-2 and booking our ticket to our first Tier 2 final.
After beating the Cardinals in the other semi-final, the Cornwall River Rats were last hurdle in our quest for gold. Things weren’t exactly falling into place when we had the tying run at 3rd and the winning run at 2nd with nobody out in the bottom of the 7th in game 1, and lost. We’d dig an even deeper hole after losing in extra innings in game 2. In game 3, it was up to John Groves to extend our season, and with some long ball help from the Bus Cop, he did. Unfortunately we’d lose Denver Hunt for the rest of the season and probably the next to a tibia plateau injury. In game 4, we started Mark Dorrington, and Cornwall brought only 8 guys (always qualify your coach!!). SweatSox win 7-0. It would all come down to Game 5, there would be no ties, someone was leaving as champion.
What can we really say about game 5 that hasn’t already been said? It came down to the vets, and ultimately it was our leader Cory Bond who scored the championship clinching run…
…which wouldn’t have been possible without #Lettsanity
The day after the big win, Cory send a message to the team that Cornwall won a protest and we’d have to replay the 7th inning a day later. Cory’s Ironman streak is now in serious danger due to the violence promised upon him & his soul.
When it was all said and done, there really was only 1 lesson learned in September:
October
In October, I, Shaun Keay, got a shoutout during one of the speeches at Kent Johnston’s wedding. The SweatSox weekend extravaganza also happened, as did an actual SweatSox “Relaunch”, and our two championship season MVP’s celebrated a birthday on the same day.
November
The NCBL Banquet took place in early November, and the SweatSox didn’t go home empty handed for the 2nd year in a row. Eric accepted the award for Tier II MVP, Cory accepted the award for Sportsmanship & Ability, Marc accepted the award for finals MVP, and the real SuperFans accepted the Tier II Championship Trophy on our behalf.
December
Rumors began circulating that the SweatSox had signed Martin Trepanier for the 2014 season. Cory has yet to confirm this, saying only that he was in talks with the Gryphons. On December 25th, we sent out a Christmas e-card, giving hope to those who may have or are thinking about giving up.
January 2014
I can’t predict the future, but I’m sure there will be at least one team function to report about…
#UNDEFEATEDHYJINX