For the 10th time since Canadian singer/songwriter Bryan Adams has been alive, the SweatSox and Expos faced off in an NCBL regular season game Sunday at the Sportsplex. It’s always fun playing against the Expos, not because they’re one of the rare teams we have a winning record against (6-2-1), but because it’s one of the few times the brothers Hughes get to see one another. Both Ross and Nick Hughes live busy lives and don’t cross paths as much as they’d like; Ross runs a very successful bar in Barrhaven, while Nick is a senior financial advisor for an international investment company. Unfortunately, Nicholas was busy negotiating a $325 million dollar deal and couldn’t make the annual family reunion.
PUT CHEESE ON HER AND PUNCH HER
Another person who almost didn’t make the game was the scheduled starting pitcher for the SweatSox: Josh Ramage. Despite a mass-text sent out by The Authority, the team schedule posted on our website by me, the Tier 2 schedule created by the Commissioner uploaded to the NCBL site, and our game log page also on the NCBL site which is maintained by the NCBL webmaster, all saying our start time was 6:00pm, Ramage swears he read 6:15pm “somewhere”. He must still be feeling the effects of the Winchester flu.
A SUPERFAN DONKEY PUNCH
With Josh still under the weather, it was up to the defense to play above and beyond the call of duty; meaning we were expected to play at a Tier 4 level, instead of the standard 5. Well, 3 first inning errors leading to 3 Expo runs was not the start we were looking for. The Expos would go on to score 4 more runs in the 3rd, and the SweatSox were down 7-0 for the first time since August 1, 2012 (this was the game Daniel Villeneuve struck out the side vs Winchester).
I’LL BE OUTSIDE SO I DON’T COCK-BLOCK YOU
In the top of the 4th, with a runner already in (MBond RBI single) and the bases loaded & nobody out, the SweatSox were setup to score at least one more run. In true SweatSox fashion, we recorded 3 straight outs over the next two batters, culminating with Martin Trepanier down at the plate holding his knee after trying to fly over the catcher. FLASHBACK:
Both teams would go on to trade 4 runs each over the final 3 innings, leading to a 11-5 Expos win in a game the Expos controlled from the beginning. Expos 11, SweatSox 5. Final.
The winner of the 2004 A&W Kamloops International Baseball Game MVP Award is: Mark Bond. The WMD had a two hit game, including a double, stolen base, RBI, and run scored. He also made his 2nd appearance of the season on the mound, throwing the final two innings to close the game.
“STACEY”
Honourable mentions go out to: John Groves, who was 2/2 with an RBI. Denver Hunt, who made his 2014 season debut in the final inning, in CF no less. Cory Bond, who recorded 4 outs in 5 batters in his season debut on the mound in relief. Craig Cornell, with one of the finest diving scoops you’ll ever see (but threw a Daisy Duke to 1st). Mark Dorrington, who led the team with 2RBI in his season debut.
YOU REMEMBER THAT DON’T YOU?
The winner of the anti-award Odlid, which when received metaphorically CUTS LIKE A KNIFE, is: Marc Lett. OML picks up his first “unit” for no other reason than forgetting that there was still a game going on after Trepanier got hurt. Instead of putting his catchers gear on and going out to catch, GZaun just stood there like he was on CLOUD NUMBER NINE. After what seemed like 14 minutes of Cory yelling at Lett from the mound, he finally came to and declared I’M READY, now LETS MAKE A NIGHT TO REMEMBER. I guess he just needed a few minutes to come to terms that this wasn’t going to be…wait for it…THE SUMMER OF #69!!!!!
HAIRDRESSER HARD’ON
The Après Baseball Hyjinx was hosted by: Kent Johnston, who earlier in the day won the 2014 Ottawa Marathon.
For the first time this season, there were wieners in the circle (thanks GLE), and we’re not talking about the Odlid. Earlier in the day, in a Twitter exclusive, it was revealed that the BBQ has been found:
Without any preseason, the BBQ wasn’t in game shape just yet, shutting itself down after a few minutes of activity (much like the SweatSox in the 1st inning). Feeling as if the BBQ owed him one after all the time they’ve spent together, Marc Lett had a one-on-one with the ‘cue, whispering: (EVERYTHING I DO) I DO IT FOR YOU. The BBQ worked perfectly from that point forward.
The Hyjinx continued with: Chris Lidstone modeling his new purse…
…Lambeau making out with Cop:
…Trepanier returning to the field to partake in the Hyjinx (shoutout to Trep’s dad for joining the Hyjinx, and drinking more than Cory has all season):
…the Consultant getting an “earful” from the Shostappa:
…Josh getting iced:
…Lidstone getting iced:
…and the SweatSox doing their part for the environment by watering the surrounding plant life:
When all the beer and all the frankfurters (including the one off the ground) were gone, it was time to head over to our team sponsor’s establishment, East Side Mario’s. FYI- we negotiated an amazing deal where at the end of the season they’ll give us 10% back on whatever we spent there. Try to beat that deal; I dare you!!!
NOBODY CAN RAPE THAT ONE
The Après Hyjinx Hyjinx got off to a depressing start, when Cop shared a Reddit story involving a lost jolly rancher and a clump. The starting battery didn’t seem too upset by it though:
Meanwhile, Mrs. Eric gave Eric the Heisman:
…Eric plotted his revenge:
…Mrs. Eric got iced:
Later on Cop’s mouth got burned, at about the same time we found out the Fisherman recently burnt his “bait”:
I can’t remember if the focus of this picture is supposed to be the beer Denver spilled, or whether Denver is thinking about the last time he got his neck trimmed:
When shoes and coasters started getting thrown around, we knew it was time to leave. Out in the parking lot, I took a picture with Denver:
…But Eric got jealous, so I punched Denver in the face:
…then I left:
…and Eric finally got his picture with Denver:
Time for yet another SweatSox Public Service Announcement: When this car’s a rockin, don’t come a knockin’!
Next up for the SweatSox is a matchup with Marc Sports de Gatineau, who are playing in their inaugural season in the NCBL, Wednesday night at Southgate.
A boxscore from the SweatSox-Expos game can be found by clicking here.
Finally, it’s time for some SweatSox Trivia. Today’s question is: What do I (Shaun Keay) do?
a) webmaster at a Fortune 500 company
b) engineer
c) CSIS employee
d) all of the above
#WONTHEHYJINX