It’s usually around this time of the year that both the NCBL and the City of Ottawa’s Parks, Recreation and Cultural Services Department remind everyone to stay off the fields until May 1st (or later depending on the weather) otherwise our permits for the fields could be at risk.
As part of the new SweatSox initiative to give back to the community, for the rest of the month we will be making surprise inspections on random ball fields throughout the city to ensure that nobody is jeopardizing our city permits.
Earlier today, a few SweatSox visited the once glorious Pinecrest Park to see if anyone was on the field, and what we saw was startling. While thankfully there were no baseball players on the field, there was a group of football players using the bullpen fence to play volleyball with a soccer ball.
After what seemed like at least an hour and a half of observation to see if they stepped onto the actual field, the SweatSox left and made the quick trip over to Summerhays to discuss: a schedule for the remaining field inspections, as well as strategies for maximizing our success for the upcoming season. It’s been determined that a combination of reverse prostitution, a Winchester gangbang, and a banquet bukkake show should at least get us a spot in the playoffs.
It sounded like a fun night, a damn shame I couldn’t make it back from Brockville City Hall in time. Thanks to everyone who was there for sending me text updates.
#SHAUNKEAYFORNCBLSECRETARY