For the past few weeks, the SweatSox Statistical Analysis Team (SSAT) has been busy projecting the 2015 season. They’ve crunched the numbers, adjusted for standard deviation from the mean, then solved for ‘x’ to determine which individual or team records are achievable this year.
The SSAT has come up with 14ish milestones to watch out for this summer, presented from the most to least likely.
14. The Ironman Streak
The lead pipe lock of the century is Cory Bond playing in all 24 games for the SweatSox this season. GLE has played in the last 144 SweatSox regular season games, will reach #150 in a row when we play our 6th game of the year, and will finish the season with a 168 streak still in tact.
13. A Secondhand Account of the NCBL Spring Meeting
Since we relaunched our website during the 2013 season, we’ve posted dozens of articles ranging from schedule releases to Hyjinx recaps. The most popular story all-time in terms of unique views was Hopefully He Hits a Tree and Dies, which was posted last year and featured the first documented use of the name “Lidiot”.
The next most viewed story was actually one of our most recent posts: “A Secondhand Account of the NCBL Spring Meeting”. This tells me a few things: 1) our readers are very interested in what goes on behind the scenes in the NCBL, and 2) I should be Secretary of the NCBL.
If you’re reading this and haven’t yet read the meeting recap, check it out, we’re just a few hits away from it being the most read story.
12. The All-Time SweatSox RBI Record
I, Shaun Keay, hold many of the all-time SweatSox records. I’ve played in the most games, had the most at bats, the most hits, the most singles, the most doubles, and for now, I have the most runs batted in…
Heading into the 2015 season, I, Shaun Keay, hold the RBI lead by just 1 over Cory, but that won’t last long. Known for his lineup manipulations, The Authority will do everything in his power to make sure he’s in a position to get RBI’s, while I’ll probably be leading off every game or be DH’d for.
There will be a new RBI champion this year. At least he’ll never catch me in games.
11. The All-Time SweatSox SB Record
Based on recent history, it’s safe to assume that during the 2015 season Armando Navarro is going to try and steal 100 bases. Needing to “out-steal” Kent Johnston by 9 this year to take over the #1 spot all-time, we should be looking at a new SB leader this summer; as long as Army doesn’t get caught 80 of those times, which is possible.
Further down the Stolen Base Rankings, we could see 3 new members of the 50 SB Club this year. I, Shaun Keay, need 4 more, Craig Cornell needs 5, and Eric White needs 10.
10. The 500 IP Club
With just 3 full time pitchers on the roster this year, our guys will likely be looking at 50+ innings each to cover 7 innings over 24 games. If that happens, Cory Bond (40.67) will become the 1st member of the 500 IP Club.
Honourable mention to Josh Ramage, who will become the 3rd member of the 300 IP Club when he throws his 50.33th inning from now; and John Groves, who will become the 5th member of the 200 IP Club when he throws his 7.33th inning this year.
9. The 300 Keay Club
The single season record for offensive strikeouts is 24, set by me (I, Shaun Keay) in 2007. Currently, I am 41 strikeouts away from #300 in my career. With strikeout heavyweights like the non-OMS Mark’s, Marc, Cory, and Army showing no signs of decline, it’s time I put all my focus & effort into setting a record that will never be caught. I’m in my prime, and dammit I will swing like I’ve never swung before.
Honourable mention to Craig Cornell, who is 7 strikeouts away from becoming the 5th member of the 100 Keay Club.
8. The 500 K Club
Depending on the SweatSox defense, which on a good day is questionable at best, the only way to get defensive outs this year may be strikeouts. If GLE can record 47 strikeouts, he will extend his franchise record and become the 1st member of the 500 K Club.
Further down the list, Mark Dorrington will become the 3rd member of the 200 K Club when he records his 6th strikeout from now.
The 100 K Club, currently 6 members deep, could see 3 more additions this year. Eric White is 2 away from joining, John Groves is 15, and Mark Bond is 17.
7. The 250 H Club
As the most tenured member of the SweatSox, I’m always setting one record or another pretty much every game. Despite having just 3 hits last regular season, I found my groove in Kingston and I’m quite sure I’ll octuple that total and average a hit a game. Actually make that 23 hits in 23 games since there’s no chance in hell I play in all 24. When I record my 5th hit I’ll reach another milestone, as that will be hit #250 of my career.
Cory Bond will join the 200 H Club on his 4th hit from now, joining Craig Cornell and Kent Johnston who got in last season. Honourable mention to Marc Lett, who will hit milestone #150 on his 10th hit this year.
6. The Double Man
I, Shaun Keay, need 1 more double to extend my all-time record and hit milestone #50. As long as we play on a few big fields where my shots off the fence will lead to doubles and not singles, that milestone will be mine.
5. The All-Time SweatSox BB Record
We’re now at the point of the countdown where the records are still very possible, but become highly unlikely.
Marc Lett is the all-time SweatSox leader in walks (+HBP), just 2 ahead of Kent Johnston. Surely, you’d think our Angry Center Fielder could make up that deficit and take the all time lead by week two. One, what you don’t know is that during the offseason Kent put his finger where it didn’t belong and suffered a broken left pinky which will keep him out of action until about late-June (it’s a 14 week injury). And two, don’t ever call him Shirley.
BONUS: THE RUN MAN – While out with an injury, The Director won’t be accumulating any stats, including runs scored. Already the all time SweatSox career leader, KJ is just 8 back of becoming the first member of the 200 R Club. Even if he was healthy to start the season, the SweatSox don’t score runs any more, meaning he may have to wait a couple of seasons before hitting this milestone.
4. Mr. Second Most Wins
Lee Shields and Doug Horner were SweatSox chuckers in the 1990’s. I can’t really call them pitchers, otherwise I’d have to call Ross Hughes and Mark Stinson pitchers too, but they were the ones throwing off the rubber 60 feet 6 inches away from home plate. Lee was the better of the two, accumulating 24 wins in his career. Heading into the 2015 season Josh Ramage is just 3 wins away from tying (4 wins away from surpassing) Shields for 2nd on the all time wins list.
While Mr. Winchester is certainly capable of winning 3+ games in a season, this year it may prove to be difficult since Josh is getting married in May, and then is taking several weeks off to go on his honeymoon, ironically in Winchester.
Honourable mention to the SweatSox career leader in wins SweatSox Cory Bond, who is 5 wins away from career win #50.
3. SweatSox Tournament Wins
The SweatSox have lost many, many games since our inception in 1981, but statistically for every 3 losses we take we squeeze out 1 win. This Pythagoras like theorem does not apply for tournament games though, through 8 career tourney games the SweatSox sport a shameful 0-8 record.
The SweatSox are already confirmed to play in 1 tournament this year: the Heritage Classic hosted by the Mavericks in June. We were drawn into a pool with the Tier 3 Old Sox, and the Tier 4 Cubans; both teams bookmakers are calling heavy favourites against the Tier 5 SweatSox.
We may need to wait for a Tier 6 tournament invite before recording our first tournament win.
0-11?
2. The All-Time SweatSox HR Record
Our Home Run King Cory Bond has 14 career homeruns, 2 more than I, Shaun Keay, do. By my calculations, 13 of those homeruns have come at Trillium, Winchester, and Britannia, and 1 of them was at the Sportsplex…
For the past few seasons, it’s conveniently been my turn to sit whenever we play at the smaller fields. I don’t imagine that will change this year, making it all but impossible for me to catch our cowardly leader in HR’s.
1. The Authority’s Last Stand
It’s common knowledge that Cory has done a terrible job as our manager, constantly playing favourites, hazing the rookies, sending out backwards, reverse, or bizarro lineups whenever he feels like it, and taking every opportunity as our captain to suck up to any and every one in a position of power. As he approaches the all-time record for managerial wins, The Authority has tried to step down multiple times, citing he doesn’t deserve to be at that top of that list. To spite our leader, we have rejected those resignations and instead will fire him the night he sets the record.
Craig Cornell and Doug Dorion share the record for most wins as SweatSox manager with 73. Cory is 6 back of joining them, 7 back from taking the lead. The downward spiral the SweatSox have been on since winning the championship has been big, and if that trend continues Cory may still be managing this team for many years to come before the SweatSox win 7 more games.
Next up for the SweatSox:
The 14th Annual SweatSox Gala, a black-tie league fee fundraising event, takes place tonight at a top secret location. #bringyourchequebooks
— SweatSox (@SweatSox) April 18, 2015