Denver Hunt may no longer be with us (RIP), but like Dr. Leonard McCoy says in The Wrath of Kahn: “he’s not really dead, as long as we remember him”. The SweatSox spent weeks trying to figure out the perfect way to honour the Shostappa. Do we retire the jerseys, implement his Kangaroo Court, actually find a sponsor, or perhaps create some kind of foundation in his memory that would revolve around our schedules: evenings, weekends, whenever we had free time.
We eventually came to the conclusion that there really was only one perfect option: to resurrect his brainchild, give it a makeover, and then knock it out of the park. It’s official: the SweatLympics are back.
The highly controversial, inaugural SweatLympics took place last year, featured two events: poker and bowling, and was ultimately won by Cory Bond. This year, the new SweatLympic chairman Josh Ramage is aiming for 30+ events throughout the year, using a points based ranking system. A gold medal is worth 100 points, a silver medal 50, and a bronze medal 25. Everyone who participates in an event gets 10 points. Anyone who misses gets a maximum of 0 points. The winner will be crowned during SweatSox Award Week.
This past Saturday night, we got through the opening ceremonies and the first two events. The opening ceremonies took place on Craig Cornell’s front porch, with the local kids supplying the entertainment by putting on a scrappy road hockey game.
The first official event was traditional Texas Hold’em poker. Craig, fresh off convincing the league to keep the SweatSox in Tier 2, somehow convinced Chris Lidstone to fold a king high straight flush. Cornell takes home the first gold medal of the year for winning the main event, with silver going to Mark Stinson who won the smaller 2nd game. Josh “The Chairman” Ramage decided to award the bronze medal to the only other person who didn’t lose any money: Cory Bond.
The second event of the 2nd SweatLympiad was blackjack. After dozens of hands, it became quite clear that Cory “The House” Bond “always wins”. Rounding out the blackjack podium was Mark Stinson (silver) and Craig Cornell (bronze), because why not.
Since Day 1 of the SweatLympics was mandatory, there were consequences for those who called in sick. The Chairman ruled that if you missed the event and you are on Twitter, you will be deducted the same number of points as you have tweets.
Here are the rankings through 2 events:
Finally, some random notes from the SweatSox Gala:
- Craig’s WiFi password is: Madagascar
- Ross is still in the running for the Murdock
- Josh’s car alarm is real sensitive
- Lett owes $20 for playing in the poker game despite not even being there
- The night ended with chips thrown on the floor
- Stinson once upgraded his phone to the same phone he had
@winchestersox @SweatSox I’m just here so I don’t get fined.
— For Love of the Game (@Madballer87) April 19, 2015