We’re Here For The Orgy

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This past weekend the SweatSox played in the 2nd annual Heritage Classic Baseball Tournament hosted by the Tier 3 Old Sox, who have rebranded themselves the Mavericks since the last time we faced off way back in 2008.  Drawn into a pool with our Tier 3 hosts and the Tier 4 Cubans, the SweatSox were looking to sweep the round robin and get the coveted bye straight to the semi-finals.

First up was Team Cuba, who we were originally scheduled to play Friday night at Trillium, but forced to Saturday morning at 7:30am after a storm wiped away both Day 1 tournament games.  As if Team Cuba wasn’t already a big enough underdog against the Tier 2 SweatSox, only 7 of the 21-man Cuban roster showed up to the game.  Not since the Cornwall River Rats brought 8 to face Mark Dorrington in Game 4 of the 2013 Tier 2 Championships have we faced such an undermanned group of ball players.

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While Cuba waited for their 8th man, the SweatSox took the field behind starter Craig Cornell, who kept Cuba off the board through 4 innings.  Offensively, the SweatSox took advantage of the shorthanded Cubans, scoring 12 runs through 3 innings.  The team credits this very early burst of energy to the pregame melted mints we had for breakfast.  Cornell would lose his bid at a shutout with an unearned run in the 5th, but still goes down in the history books as the holder of the first ever tournament win in SweatSox history.

The SweatSox-Cuba game will not only be remembered for Craig’s incredible performance on the mound, or for our first tournament win, but also as the end of one of the most overrated streaks in team history.  After refusing to enter the Cuba game despite multiple requests from I (Shaun Keay), Cory Bond’s all-purpose Ironman streak ended at 232 straight games.  Fear not, the real regular season streak remains in tact at 153.  Is it a coincidence that 2+3+2-1+5+3 = 14?  In honour of the fallen streak, and also the win over Cuba, GLE celebrated by smoking a Cuban cigar.

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While the SweatSox waited for the doors at the Navarro Resort to open, we ran into an old friend in the Heritage parking lot.  Jaime Beaupre hasn’t been seen at a SweatSox Hyjinx since the 2006 NCBL Banquet at the Prescott, but when called upon was happy to stop by for a few minutes to catch up with his old rivals.

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Broment of the Morning: Mark Stinson and Eric White prepare for our round robin game vs the Mavericks.

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On Saturday afternoon at exactly 1:00pm, the SweatSox and Mavericks faced off for the first time since July 20, 2008.  Josh Ramage got the ball and was spotted a 7-0 lead through 2; but we know firsthand that no lead against the Old Sox is safe, and this one wasn’t.  The Mavs answered with 6 runs in the 3rd and 3 in the 4th to take a 9-7 lead, which we’d erase over our next two at bats to take a 10-9 lead heading into the 6th.  The Mavs then pulled away for good with 4 unearned runs to not only win the game by 3, but also win the pool and earn a spot in the semi-finals.

We knew at this point we were playing in the A2-B3 crossover Sunday morning at 7:30am (again), and all projections pointed to the BlackSox being our opponent.  After all, they lost to the Braumeisters in the round robin and would need a win vs the Expos to avoid it.  Sure enough, the BlackSox did and we would now be facing the Braumeisters feat. Nepean Brewer Bill Beelen (I thought you couldn’t recruit Tier 1 players for this tournament?) first thing Sunday morning.  But would we make it to Sunday morning though?

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At the Navarro Resort, we were treated to a delicious meal of Kent Johnston’s famous homemade sausages, some cupcakes that were bought at Farm Boy, an assortment of chips, salsa, vegan dogs, and hard liquor & beer, but no ice.

SweatSox Word of the Day: Cupcake

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Unfortunately, it was a long day and phone batteries were dying so we weren’t able to digitally capture the night to it’s fullest, but a few gems snuck through and made their way online.

Broment of the Night: Cory Bond (possibly naked), Mark Stinson, and Chris Lidstone take a soak in the hot tub.

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At some point during the Hyjinx we realized we had a game in a couple of hours, so instead of figuring out how to get home safely, Army invited everyone to stay over for the first ever SweatSox Boy/Girl SweatSox Slumber Party!  The rest of the night we’ll leave up to your imagination.

We had to wait almost 8 years to face the Mavericks again, but it had been even longer since we played the Braumeisters: August 5, 2005 (nearly 10 years) to be exact.  FYI- that was not the game that Cory Bond hit 2HR off Bill Beelen, that was on June 28, 2005 in a game the SweatSox won 19-7.

Since we were facing a team of old men, we had no choice but to start our original old man: OMG.  Sadly, the NCBL still didn’t get a Groves-McCurdy matchup but it wasn’t our fault this time.  Groves threw a complete game shutout, giving up just 4 hits (0BB) in the 5-inning shortened game.  Offensively, Craig Cornell and Eric White led the charge with 3 hits & 2 RBI each, en route to a 13-0 SweatSox victory.

While we waited for our semi-final rematch with the Mavericks, Team Cuba and the Expos faced off in the second quarterfinal matchup, with the winner facing the BlackSox in semi-final #2.  Our very own Mark “Bus Cop” Bond was in attendance, and was nearly cut from the SweatSox when he started spreading a clear & obvious lie that Team Cuba beat the Expos 4-2. Only, it wasn’t a lie, was it. It was dubbed the “Miracle on Jeanne D’Arc”, except the field was on Orleans Blvd!?!

Sin embargo, felicitaciones al equipo de Cuba, que no sabemos cómo lo hicieron, pero muy bien hecho.

The SweatSox-Mavericks semi-final matchup was won 6-4 by the SweatSox, backed by a complete game from Eric White.  Armando Navarro and Mark Stinson each had 2 hits, while Chris Lidstone chipped in with 2RBI.  Cory Bond made a better late than never appearance, coming in as a defensive substitute in the bottom of the 7th and made the game winning catch in LF.  Mindy Ruffo worked the scorebook, but apparently that wasn’t enough practice for the upcoming championship game.

After shocking the world in the quarterfinals, Team Cuba’s Cinderella run ended in the semi’s with an 11-1 loss to the BlackSox.

We waited 8 years to face the Mavericks, and 10 years to face the Braumeisters, so it was only fitting that the championship game featured two teams who hadn’t played since July 27, 2003 (12 years ago).  That of course was the 11-11 tie thrown by Craig Cornell the day after his wedding.  And of course they weren’t the BlackSox then, nor the FireBallers, they were the Crickets.

SweatSox Quiz: Is Armando Navarro stretching or sleeping before the championship game?

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The pitching matchup in the finals was between 2010 Currey Insurance Running Dogs Fall Ball teammates Cory Bond and Phil Martin, but it quickly turned into a battle of who could find the itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot strike zone.  The answer was definitely not our GLE, who gave up 5 hits and walked 6 in just over 2 innings, essentially putting the SweatSox in nice, deep, quiet, comfy hole where we could finally get some much needed sleep.  The BlackSox took everything we had left as a team to throw at them, and hit that to opposite field for an RBI single too.

Our best effort at a Championship boxscore:

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The SweatSox would like to once again thank the Mavericks for the invite & hosting us this weekend, while an equally large thank you goes to Armando Navarro & family for hosting us off the field.  We cleaned up as much as we could before we left, but if there’s any structural damage to your house, or you need to call a plumber to come fix the bathroom piping, let us know and we’ll get some Canuck Bucks sent your way.  Big thanks goes out to everyone who brought food, beer, snacks, Gatorade, healthy green vegetables, illegal green produce, cigars, lighters, sleeping bags, and everything else that made this weekend one to remember.

Final Heritage Classic Notes/Thoughts:

  • We brought a cooler and beer, but no ice?!?
  • Despite playing at Heritage since he was 16, Mark Bond doesn’t know how to get to Heritage
  • Chris Lidstone blamed his future wife Mindy for getting lost en route to Heritage
  • Mars is half the size of Earth
  • Venus is hotter than Mercury
  • We brought a beer and ice, but no cooler?!?
  • Chris Lidstone ate complimentary peanut butter packages for breakfast
  • Mark Stinson ate a brick of cheese for breakfast
  • Cory Bond ate a double order of extra bacon on top of a steak for breakfast
  • Eric White ate side toast for breakfast
  • A Broadways lunch can be ordered, but not eaten before 11am
  • The difference between garlic bread and Godzilla garlic bread is banana peppers
  • Red Bull Silver and Red Bull Green are the same
  • Mindy isn’t a fan of nighttime cuddling
  • Cory Bond is a two fingers deep kinda guy
  • We brought a cooler and ice, but no beer?!?
  • Mindy tossed Craig Cornell’s salad (yeah, I went there)
  • Chris Lidstone has a 5-minute endurance limit, or else he’s on his own
  • Where are the pink SuperFan t-shirts?
  • The SweatSox outscored opponents 23-1 in the 1st inning of the Heritage Classic
  • The SweatSox led the tournament in runs scored (43)
  • The SweatSox led the tournament in games played (5)
  • The SweatSox tied for the lead in tournament wins (3)
  • 5 games, 4 hours sleep, 3 coolers, 2 days, 1 hot tub, no ice = Amazing Weekend

The SweatSox Heritage Classic Tournament Stats:

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Final Standings:

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Photobomb of the Weekend:”The Cobra” photobombs what would’ve otherwise been a terrible hot tub picture.

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#WHEREISTHEICE?

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