Late last night, I, Shaun Keay, wrote the article “Why Are You Running?” that among other things recapped our game from last week against the Braves. Now I’m not one to mislead, embellish, or fabricate anything just for the sake of clicks; in fact I pride myself on my 100% accuracy rate ever since I took over this website many, many years ago. So imagine my surprise when earlier today I received an open letter from someone on the Braves questioning my journalistic integrity.
The SweatSox have always been willing to give any team out there a forum to get their thoughts, opinions, or views out to the rest of the league – all you have to do is ask. In the spirit of equal opportunity, the following is the actual letter, presented as originally written without any edits or commentary. Enjoy.
Dear Sean Keay,
I, José Hernández, of the Braves, wish to respond to you, Sean Keay, for your grossly inaccurate recount of the events during our last game.
[By the way I find it quite narcissistic that you have to preface every phrase in your rants with “I, Sean Keay” – didn’t you get enough attention as a child? Or is it that you heard it so much it got hammered down in your brain: “NO SEAN KEAY, YOU DON’T PICK YOUR NOSE IN CLASS” or “SEAN KEAY, WHY DO YOU LICK YOUR FINGERS AFTER POO POO”? or something similar…anyway, I digress (signs of old age)!]
You call us: slow, old, which we are. It’s true some of us have been playing in this league and elsewhere way longer than some of you may have been around – in fact, it’s possible that some of you may have been the result of one of those hijinks nights when not just boys participated – I know we are possibly closer in age to your parents that to you!!) By the way, I challenge you to outrun me at any distance (I’m willing to give you in meters our age difference, whatever that may be: I’m 46 ;-).
I may have not been at the same game – in which case, my apologies – because I don’t recall Braves management requesting the game be called due to some “invisible storm”. By the way, like you said, it wasn’t until the last inning that the game completely got out of our hands … so why would we be pushing for the game to be called? Who knows, I’m sure my hearing is failing me too.
You go on to say that the Braves were intentionally delaying the game – again same argument as above applies. Also, how do you figure we would all use the excuse of tying our laces with the intention of delaying the game? Haven’t you notice we all use Velcro? It’s easier for old farts like us rather than having to bend down…btw, old and slow people don’t get their laces undone…and if they do, there’s no risk in tripping over. You say we all went chasing foul balls? That one anyone will have a hard time swallowing, so I’ll leave at that!
I see the lure of using the veil of the Internet … in our days (gosh, there was no Internet then) we would have walked up and spoken our issues face to face rather than blurting a bunch of half-baked falsehoods in an attempt to entertain your own ego and a couple of others. Spreading online rumours like children is not our way.
By the way, one big omission in your account is the fact that one of your players decided to steal third base when you guys were up by ten runs quite late in the game (again, maybe due to early signs of old age I can’t recall the exact moment). It may be a generational misunderstanding, but in our times you would have gotten seriously plunked…unfortunately neither of us can throw that hard to make it worthwhile! So, yes, Shawn Keay, WHY are you running?
And finally, congratulations for the “*” – you deserve it. Wouldn’t it be nice we would see each other again on the baseball field, playing ball, enjoying a nice summer day and a few drinks after?!
Chao for now, Sean Keay!