“Throw the Ball!” – SweatSox vs Outlaws Recap

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When Doug Dorion founded the SweatSox in 1981, it was so he could get out of the house a couple extra times in the summer, have a few beers with his friends, and smoke a few king sized cigarettes when times got tough.  Little did he know that the rec league team he once called D.L. (before staring at his unusually dirty and smelly socks on his bedroom floor one day and decided to change his team name to something more fitting), was going to develop into a team playing in the most elite tier of the largest amateur baseball league in Canada.

When I, Shaun Keay, first joined the NCBL in 1998, the SweatSox were a terrible team in the worst tier.  Even after picking up a rookie Marc Lett in 2002, we still finished 5 games under .500, causing several tenured players to finally call it a career.  During that offseason, we recruited unusually hard, signing a flowing haired east coaster and a tall lanky local lefty, who thankfully weren’t aware of what failures we had been for many years.  That season, the SweatSox finished above .500 for the first time since 1986, beginning the greatest turnaround story in the history of the NCBL.  14 years, 3 pennants, 2 championships, and 1 more Tier 4 free agent after that, the SweatSox made it to Tier 1.  That became official earlier tonight, when the SweatSox played the Outlaws at the Sportsplex to open the 2016 NCBL Tier 1 season.  Yo Adrian (Balboa, not Delorey), we did it!

The game was scoreless through 2, and in the top of the 3rd after scoring 3 runs, the SweatSox were officially on top of the NCBL universe.  If the playoffs were to start right then and there, the SweatSox would’ve been the #1 seed with the greatest +/- in the tier.  We had not hit the new drop-dead time just yet, so the game would continue as scheduled.

As a rule, when the GLE Cory Bond is our starting pitcher, we relieve him from all his game day managerial duties so he can focus on throwing balls and strikes.   Today was one of those games, and somehow a trio of Mark Bond, Craig Cornell, and Kent Johnston were tasked with filling the role of Authority, and they couldn’t even do that right.  During the pregame meet & greet at home plate, Mark “Kindergarten Cop” Bond tried handing the umpires the pink & yellow copies of the starting lineups, hording the white copy to tape up in the dugout.  Not the best first impression.

Their biggest blunder of the night though was letting GLE go back out to the mound in the 3rd inning despite taking a hard Tony Carbonetti liner off his knee to end the 2nd.  Between innings it was clear GLE was in excruciating pain, the amount of blood pouring off the wound was sickening, and it was already starting to swell, growing to about the size of a tennis ball by the time the next inning rolled around; yet still he was allowed to go back out there.  Naturally, he gave up 5 runs and the lead, effectively keeping our preseason projection of an 0-24 season alive.  Thanks for nothing coaches.

Here is the boxscore from SweatSox vs Outlaws:

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Final SweatSox vs Outlaws Notes/Thoughts:

  • Chris Lidstone’s pregame workout tired me out just watching.
  • For the first time in his life, Armando Navarro collided with someone and came out on top.
  • Mark Dorrington’s Summerhays closer may have been Ross Hughes’ +1 tonight.
  • Marc Lett still believes he checked his swing.
  • Bill Beelen couldn’t believe we were once up 3-0.
  • Eric White still can’t do the scorebook.
  • Mark Bond had two stellar catches in RF and didn’t cleat himself either time.
  • The new Outlaws catcher was not impressed with the lack of velocity our pitchers had; and we didn’t even throw Groves or Ramage.
  • Mark Bond may have had the 1st defensive indifference in SweatSox history.
  • Techno’s ringtone is till techno.
  • The Blue Mountain State movie was terrible, but the series is still awesome.
  • Cop and Army could, and did, talk about gardening for hours.
  • The automatic lights on Army’s car don’t work.
  • Could Jen in Toronto be the next SuperFan?
  • Chris and Mindy are still together.
  • Eating the “sauce wrap” was probably more disgusting than simultaneously sharing a dry wrap.
  • I, Shaun Keay, have beer Friday night.

I’m not sure if you heard, but tonight was a historic night for the SweatSox.  Here’s a list of just some of the NCBL records that were set today.

New NCBL Records Set During SweatSox vs Outlaws:

  • The SweatSox are the first team to play in all 4 tiers.
  • The SweatSox are the first team to lose a game in all 4 tiers.
  • The SweatSox are the first team to score a run in all 4 tiers.
  • The SweatSox are the first team to give up a run in all 4 tiers.
  • Cory Bond, Craig Cornell, Kent Johnston, (I) Shaun Keay, and Marc Lett are the only players to play for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Cory Bond is the first player to pitch for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Cory Bond is the first player to throw a strike for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Cory Bond is the first player to throw a ball for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Cory Bond is the first player to start on opening day for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Cory Bond is the first player to lose a game for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Cory Bond is the first player to record a defensive assist for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Kent Johnston is the first player to record a plate appearance for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Kent Johnston is the first player to strikeout for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Kent Johnston is the first player to score a run for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Kent Johnston is the first player to hit a double for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Kent Johnston is the first player to catch a defensive fly ball for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Kent Johnston is the first player to play CF for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Craig Cornell is the first player to draw a walk for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Craig Cornell is the first player to hit a single for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Craig Cornell is the first player to record an RBI for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Craig Cornell is the first player to play 3B for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Craig Cornell is the first player to commit an error for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Shaun Keay is the first player to record a defensive putout for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Shaun Keay is the first player to play 1B for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Marc Lett is the first player to be hit by pitch for the same team in all 4 tiers.
  • Marc Lett is the first player to play C for the same team in all 4 tiers.

Next up is our first ever non-tournament matchup with the Panthers Friday night in Kanata.  Weather permitting.

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