“Grape Tums” – SweatSox vs Outlaws II Recap

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Last night was only our 10th game of the season, but our 2016 playoff chances all came down to whether or not we could avoid losing the season series to the Outlaws, who are low, but obviously not as low as we are in the Tier 1 standings.   Our best mathematicians and playoff projectionists explained that our only real chance to make the playoffs was to win our final two games against the Outlaws, hope they lose their 13 remaining non-SweatSox games, and then defeat them again in a play-in game.  Crazier things have happened.

Controversy struck right before the first pitch was about to be thrown, when Outlaws scorekeeper Brian McGee rushed over to the SweatSox dugout demanding to know why we had 10 players in our batting order.  McGee explained in language not suitable for children that this wasn’t little league or co-ed softball, that this was Tier 1 of the National Capital Baseball League and if we didn’t get our act together he’d make us regret the day we first picked up a baseball.  Fortunately, once we explained that the 10th guy was actually being DH’d for, he withdrew his threat of a protest and returned to his side of the field.

Like just about every other team against us this year, the Outlaws jumped out to a 1st inning lead, and like just about every other team against us this year, the Outlaws extended that lead several times a few innings later.  The SweatSox used some small ball in the 5th to break the shutout, and plated 4 runs in the 6th to make it interesting, but like every other team against us this year, the Outlaws closed it out.

HISTORICAL NOTE: The 6th inning SweatSox rally was highlighted by a Cory Bond 2-run single, which made him the new SweatSox leader in career RBI’s with 190 (now 2 ahead of I, Shaun Keay).  It was also GLE’s first RBI’s off Ron Martelle at the Sportsplex since 2010…

The SweatSox came to the Hyjinx with a couple cases of beer, three pizzas (none of which were fully loaded with bacon), a half empty (or half full depending on how you look at it) bag of peanuts, some cookies, and of course some tums, which would usually be good enough to take the Hyjinx.  The Outlaws are no pushovers though, and proceeded to SuperHyjinx (100+ beers) at the other end of the parking lot.  On top of that, they brought several BBQ’s to grill a variety of meats, and we swear we saw them roasting a pig over a garbage can fire.  Well played Outlaws, well played.

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Final SweatSox vs Outlaws II Notes/Thoughts:

  • Several SweatSox went to the cage without inviting the rest of the team.
  • Craig Cornell will call Jason Klein “Dom”, but not “Techno”.
  • Ron Martelle can’t jump.
  • Jason Klein struck out into the rare K-2-5-3 putout.
  • Eric White caught a ball at C while playing P.
  • Techno couldn’t have asked for a better spot in the circle.
  • There was both a cookie spill and mosquito beer spill minutes apart.
  • Armando Navarro was either wearing a rug, carpet, or a Mexican poncho.
  • Dillon Lowry did not look at the naked lady.
  • Mrs. Marc has 3 gears.
  • Chris Lidstone recommends not having sex the night before a game.
  • “She’s smart when she’s not drinking, but she’s always drinking”.
  • Jason Klein may be the illegitimate son of Craig Cornell.
  • John Groves’ 2200 followers are all part of the same cult.
  • Craig Cornell sleeps in a humidor.
  • John Groves sometimes tweets links without reading the full story.
  • Armando Navarro believes “Edgar” Encarnation is playing well for the Jays.
  • Jason Klein is going to a non-Mexican rave.
  • Add Dillon Lowry and Armando Navarro to #TeamSocksAndSandals.
  • We can’t wait to play the Outlaws again next year, in Tier 2.
  • The softball team next door gave us 5 extra beers, and we still only had half as many as the Outlaws.
  • “I miss the little idiot”.
  • Kent Johnston doesn’t like pickles.
  • I, Shaun Keay, am willing and able to eat as many free suicide wings as I’m given.

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Next up for the SweatSox is our second matchup of the year, and second in five days, against the Kingston Ponies Sunday afternoon in Kanata.  Rumour has it HBK will not be in the Ponies’ lineup after getting ejected from their 4-3 win over the Cubs last night in the 6th inning.

#LOSTTHEHYJINX

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