As you all know, due to my unforeseen medical condition late last year, I never got around to formally announcing the winner of the 2018 Doug Dorion Memorial Trophy. An oversight that I’m about to make right.
Born in Winchester, raised at Pinecrest, and left for dead in Tier 1, many thought the days of Joshua Aloysius Ramage as a productive SweatSox pitcher were long behind us. When the decision was made to move down to Tier 3, we did so expecting absolutely nothing from our 6 foot 6 inch Steeler; after all, every T3 team has a pitcher with Josh Ramage “stuff”, or so we thought.
It turns out his fastball was so flat, and his Daisy Duke so slow, that batters throughout the Tier were left absolutely clueless about what to do with such predictable and hittable pitches. Ramage was somehow even more effective in the playoffs, where teams had to be thinking something different would be coming off the arm of our great fire maker. They were wrong.
The Assistant to the General Manager was equally efficient at the plate, batting .338 out of the always dangerous and pressure filled 8-spot in the order. His colossal frame always forced the opposing outfield to shift at least 2 steps back & 1 step over to the pull side, but little did they know that short-oppo is The Arsonist’s bread and butter.
Mr. Big Chest’s all-around season led him into the conversation for the 2018 Doug Dorion Memorial Trophy, against the likes of shower head Dillon Lowry, broken head Justin Pidhirny, and small head Jason Klein. It was a close vote that came down to the wire, but he earned it fair and square. Congratulations to Osh Kosh B’Josh on being the least worst of the 2018 SweatSox!
Unfortunately for us, Josh is now holding out like his hero Le’Veon Bell, refusing to commit to the 2019 season unless we lower his fees by half, guarantee him at least 12 starts, and provide unlimited use of the outdoor pool located at 3065 Apple Hill Drive.
Rounding out the rest of the NCBL sanctioned awards were:
Batter of the Year: Dillon Lowry
Pitcher of the Year: Josh Ramage
Sportsmanship and Ability: Craig Cornell
Ramage can expect The Head from Larry as soon as he takes it out of the shower and dries him off a bit.
Yours,
I, Shaun Robert Keay IV
2nd All-Time in NCBL Strikeouts