14 Marvelous Things I’ve Learned So Far In Quarantine

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Will this be the first ever SuperList of Things I’ve Learned?

  1. Craig Cornell posting more makes the group better.
  2. Mark Bond posting less makes the group better.
  3. 169 Sushi is 1 point better than 168.
  4. Changing the truth IS what the SweatSox are about.
  5. Just when you think you have all the answers, I change the question!
  6. Kent Johnston’s Thursday lunch was a chicken salad sandwich with radishes and green onion pulled fresh from the garden.
  7. Ross Hughes’ Thursday lunch was BBQ’d pork with a spicy mustard and fresh garden compote. Or possibly a hot dog.
  8. Cory Bond likes two wieners in his bun.
  9. Dodgeball was the worst decision.
  10. Kent Johnston is the SweatSox White Goodman.
  11. These we all watch the big crow hop lop toss to the 2nd base.
  12. Ross Hughes is the SweatSox Butcher.
  13. Word groupings are hard.
  14. There’s legitimately 3 people that can throw the ball from the outfield to home plate on our team.
  15. There’s legitimately 3 people that can throw the ball from SS to 1B on our team.
  16. You never name names.
  17. Bosco is the only correct answer.
  18. Never trust a pothead with a secret.
  19. The Powers That Be is a red herring. The true power lies in the WeedChat.
  20. Bill Beelen’s emails are strangely formatted.
  21. When you read between the lines, you learn that Kent Sucks.
  22. Kent Johnston’s pool is open, as are his legs.
  23. Apparently there were training exercises somewhere in that video.
  24. Give Josh Ramage a “Hell Yeah”.
  25. Looks wise: Mark Stinson > Marc Lett.
  26. If Josh Ramage gets into a 1000 degree hot tub, will he melt, evaporate, or sublimate?
  27. We could all use a good thunder jetting.
  28. Mark Bond has no hair. Anywhere.
  29. In Ireland, there is a popular tradition known as The 12 Pubs of Christmas. In SweatSox, we have a shirt-optional sausage party.
  30. The SweatSox are buying a mobile home from Robert Lee.
  31. Jaspreet Sanghra likes Old Spice, but really likes their commercials.
  32. It was with great excitement and a full belly that Kent Johnston announced the double JBC is everything that he imagined it would be. DJBC!
  33. Craig Cornell thinks you could go 4 deep in his bad boy.
  34. Weed kills the virus, according to a guy in the Google.
  35. The SweatSox and Walkers are not in the same bubble.
  36. Elephants never forget.
  37. Nobody will ever try and remove the Doug Dorion statue.
  38. Josh Ramage encourages everyone to watch the “talking online porn with your kids” video.
  39. Cory Bond did not show up to the Green House.
  40. A 114 degree hot tub does not scare Josh Ramage.
  41. “Boiled Craig” is a delicacy in some parts.
  42. Drinking cold beer in the hot tub counter balances each other.
  43. Kent Johnston’s pool is evolving.
  44. July 6 seems ludicrous.
  45. Kent Johnston needs a hug.
  46. The greatest hug Craig Cornell ever had was with Andrew Elias.
  47. Josh Ramage’s flow is out of control, spectacular, and on point.
  48. Josh Ramage is the SweatSox Flama Blanca.
  49. Tiz the Law!
  50. The best kind of pitcher is the one that throws strikes.
  51. Mark Bond won Father’s Day: X LE A-10
  52. Josh Ramage is the SweatSox Phil Niekro.
  53. Mark Bond has the KJ hairline.
  54. Daniel LaRusso beat Johnny Lawrence only with the help from the dark arts.
  55. A ziplock bag of lamb meat is worth more than Ross Hughes.
  56. Cory Bond is all about the long con.
  57. Josh Ramage appreciates the patience.
  58. The Team Green mascot is the Dragon Zord.
  59. Eric White snuck into the Queensway-Carleton Hospital and took the first new Cop family photo.
  60. Cory Bond is always upping the game.
  61. A regular bun can already fit 2 dogs. No innovation required.
  62. The Rock has a dog.
  63. The SweatSox Equipment Guy doesn’t know where to get the newly required equipment.
  64. Isopropyl > Ethyl
  65. There’s a lot of stupid shit we need to sign and fill out before we can play.
  66. There is no wet rag rule.
  67. Ross Hughes will catch all the innings if he can just get a little pool time.
  68. Hitting a triple against the Brau does count.
  69. Nice.
  70. Merry Christmas KJ!
  71. Patrolling for farmers daughters at the Legion is a good balance.
  72. Balance is important.
  73. Kent Johnston is not balanced.
  74. 31% of people have increased alcohol consumption in quarantine. 69% are lying.
  75. A game of ball is unrelated to baseball.
  76. Ross Hughes is the SweatSox back up back catcher.
  77. Ross Hughes is being groomed.
  78. Mark Bond estimates he’s taken over 23,000 Poos in his lifetime.
  79. Josh Ramage and Kent Johnston are happy with their current fart setups.
  80. Ross Hughes must name his cats Harbic and Horner.
  81. Josh Ramage likes Kent Johnston’s current beer setup.
  82. Mark Bond does not have tits.
  83. NFLD rarely wins anything at Nationals.
  84. Uncle Kent Johnston is leading the charge to #defundcop, starting with a dick punch.
  85. More people like dogs than kids.
  86. NTK: Never Trust Kent.
  87. “Kent Loves Children Now” – SweatSox vs Kingston Ponies III Recap (2016)
  88. These “What I Learned” posts are watered down, filtered versions of what I, Shaun Keay, actually learned.
  89. Indeed there is a log.
  90. Zelda 1.0 is good, impressive, and the shit.
  91. Craig Cornell does not want anyone coming to his house, or backyard.
  92. We’re not the only idiots out there.
  93. There was no question mark on Craig Cornell’s crotch.
  94. God blessed that head.
  95. Craig Cornell: That Was Your Life.
  96. T-ball Craif is hardly Baby Craif.
  97. There is no decking of any kind in the hot tub.
  98. It was “upper”, not “double”, that we were looking for.
  99. Josh Ramage needs a release.

Nope.