14 Electrifying Things I’ve Learned So Far In Quarantine

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I, Shaun Keay, am quiet.

  1. Josh Ramage is amused by Kent Johnston’s gut.
  2. Kent Johnston runs on 3 things: coffee, beer, and man meat.
  3. Kent Johnston needs new friends.
  4. Kent Johnston needs friends.
  5. Cory Bond is the SweatSox Piñata.
  6. Craig Cornell read the website during one of his middle of the night bathroom trips.
  7. Sleep is hard to come by in Muskoka.
  8. 2020 Craig apologized on behalf of 2008 Craig for prioritizing John Groves’ playoff chances over Cory Bond’s perfect game.
  9. Josh Ramage is not going to waste his breath.
  10. A rant is not the same as an opinion.
  11. A veteran move would be to not drain it, but send us a stock photo of it drained.
  12. If the NCBL is indeed cancelled this year, the SweatSox would be interested in jointing the NCBYL.
  13. Hats are not apparel.
  14. Girl Scout Cookies are not actual cookies.
  15. John Groves’ old Twitter account is now his NCBL account, and his burner account is now his anonymous account.
  16. FunGayGuy is a mid-thirties, fun, naughty, single white guy in Joburg. Don’t judge him by his profile alone, rather chat to him!
  17. Kent Johnston’s go-to meal after 9 holes: DJBC, 5-piece nuggets, medium fries, and sweet & sour sauce.
  18. Ross Hughes will either be rigorously or vigorously cleaning knobs, preferably away from the kids.
  19. Ross Hughes has been cleaning SweatSox knobs for years.
  20. Cory Bond is without Ruth.
  21. Cory Bond is an abuser of the elderly.
  22. One way or another, there will be an Opening Day on July 23rd.
  23. We get a soak, or we get to play baseball. Either way a good night.
  24. SwingU watched Kent Johnston eat a chicken salad sandwich.
  25. Kent Johnston gets his green onions from the garden, and his celery from Loblaws.
  26. Ross Hughes wants to learn how to skin a squirrel.
  27. “Policy wonks” refer to rules and law as Regs and Legs.
  28. The Powers That Be are big fans of the Jordan Brand.
  29. Ontario is not on an island.
  30. Pairs Skating is a contact sport.
  31. Kent Johnston is the SweatSox Jordan Herbison.
  32. The logic is pretty clear to all.
  33. Lisa MacLeod is “ruining sports”!
  34. There’s no way Kent Johnston is playing against the Misfirs or the Rickets.
  35. There’s a 65% chance we’re playing this year.
  36. “Eugenr Melynyk” is a loser.
  37. There will be booty calls in the bubble.
  38. Kent Johnston walked 19,931 more steps than Cory Bond on that one off-day in LA.
  39. Craig Cornell is a fan of the fake City of Tuscaloosa.
  40. The President is a toddler.
  41. Since there is now a Tier 5, are we a Tier 6 Team Playing in Tier 3 of the National Capital Baseball League?
  42. The theoretical human cap on tubular meat consumption is 83 hot dogs and buns.
  43. Marc Lett does not remember the game he gave up 19 runs. Seriously.
  44. I, Shaun Keay, don’t remember it either.
  45. That was also Doug Dorion’s last game, no wonder he never came back. May he Rest In Peace.
  46. Ross Hughes is starting to think accessing old SweatSox files is my job. Wrong. Diefenbunker!
  47. Marc Lett’s pitching career was unspectacular.
  48. Marc Lett’s good baseball memories far outweigh the bad ones.
  49. In a shocking turn of events, the SweatSox are NOT banned!
  50. When Marc Lett was younger, he played SS and could actually catch a fly ball.
  51. In Marc Lett’s comatose heatstroked condition, he had 3 hits in the last Panthers game.
  52. Joey Majic is a beauty, in any game.
  53. Kelly 1 will believe it when she sees it.
  54. Josh Ramage is in but he’s keeping it secret, keeping it safe.
  55. Josh Ramage is always up before the Rooster.
  56. Kent Johnston is bringing a 2:1:1:1 ratio of beer to sausages to buns to water.
  57. Most of the SweatSox have been on a brew tour, or have expressed deep desire to join.
  58. We’re going to get Double Gouged this year.
  59. Josh Ramage beat Craig Cornell by 8 minutes in the “off the record” chat.
  60. Kent Johnston’s got a few career “over-the-shoulders, and a couple face smashes.
  61. The only ones still there were Josh Ramage and the kettsy.
  62. Cory Bond did not fall in the koi pond.
  63. Cory Bond is a person who buys and sells goods, currency, or stocks.
  64. Ross Hughes could go either way.
  65. Josh Ramage has fast fingers, and doesn’t always review.
  66. Nobody likes a Grammar Nazi.
  67. In 3 years Kent Johnston will be OMJ, but right now he’s a GOM.
  68. Kent Johnston’s mom thinks he’s cool. Ross Hughes now believes it too.
  69. Nice.
  70. Kent Johnston was not going to bail before the food.
  71. The BBC was not a schmedium.
  72. Ants show up in a different shade of blue on the radar.
  73. Ken Johnson has an unblemished Tee On Dot Com record.
  74. [Sighs] Another day, another Doug.
  75. Kent Johnston is not above a humble brag.
  76. Ross Hughes is not a fan of Megan Fox circa 2007.
  77. Craig Cornell must wear the beard.
  78. The obvious decision is to walk, or cart, depending on who you ask.
  79. Ross Hughes has a 9:13 curfew.
  80. Drafting Trout is the optimal fantasy baseball strategy.
  81. Ross Hughes still reads newspapers.
  82. Craig Cornell is not sure what to say.
  83. If you need a spare to warm the seat, call Ross Hughes. Who still calls people?
  84. To be honest, Josh Ramage doesn’t like the guy.
  85. Kent Johnston thinks we should bring him back. ?.
  86. Mark Bond is broken. He’s only showing up we start talking craft beers.
  87. Kent Johnston is the SweatSox Forecast.
  88. Craig Cornell was not trying to tempt Mark Bond into a boot.
  89. Craig Cornell has given Mark Bond A-immunity.
  90. Chris Cornell is way more popular than Craig Lidstone.
  91. The algorithm is playing 5D Chess.
  92. Willis College is the Cornell of Ottawa area career colleges.
  93. Craig Cornell can’t wait to run a high speed train.
  94. Cory Bond is ready to pound some pink.
  95. Craig Cornell is ready to Sink the Pink.
  96. Ross Hughes speaks French.
  97. Kent Johnston has lots of balls.
  98. Craig Cornell has plenty of balls.
  99. More testing only reveals more infections.
  100. Kent Johnston’s mom is a great mom.
  101. Ross Hughes likes alliteration.
  102. Craig Cornell’s package is up and running.
  103. Cory Bond is inappropriate.
  104. Craig Cornell is a present.
  105. Ross is Cory, Cory is Ken, Craig is Ross, Kent is Doug.
  106. Ross Hughes enjoys the delightful sounds of a live barbershop quartet.
  107. Cory Bond is savage.
  108. Josh Ramage always appreciates the run support.