14 Thrilling Things I’ve Learned So Far In Quarantine

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It’s true, I was lurking.

  1. Kent Johnston is again eating a sandwich with green onions from the garden, and celery from loblaws. It is not known where the chicken, mayo, and butter are from.
  2. Kent Johnston and Josh Ramage went to high school together.
  3. Josh Ramage celebrates National Hot Dog Day. Craig Cornell does not.
  4. If we don’t have a season, we should play some softball.
  5. The SweatSox are a team that likes to get drunk.
  6. Softball Ontario must not have read the rules.
  7. If we can only drink offsite, why bother going onsite at all?
  8. Eric White is growing tired of his athletic competitions with Jaspreet Sanghra.
  9. Craig Cornell gets a bit sore after taking about 150 strokes.
  10. Craig Cornell’s gotta limber up.
  11. You can’t show the slightest hesitation.
  12. The SweatSox cheering section got a little bigger. Must’ve been a real good shower 9 months ago.
  13. Chris Lidstone doesn’t make mistakes.
  14. For safer sex during coronavirus, try “glory holes”.
  15. Public health officials also recommend choosing sexual positions that limit face-to-face contact. See #69 for more info.
  16. Storm Troopers never hit the target.
  17. The Texas Testicle Festival was not on the #SweatTrip2020 itinerary.
  18. Mark Bond’s talk obviously did not go well.
  19. I, Shaun Keay, had an InKO outta nowhere.
  20. Greenboro is way worse than Southgate.
  21. Release the Kraken!
  22. Craig Cornell preferred Rain City Bitch Pigeons.
  23. The Seattle hockey team will be playing at the KrakHouse.
  24. Josh Ramage likes his rum black spiced.
  25. Kent Johnston is a master photographer.
  26. Kent Johnston loves a good stick.
  27. Mike Tyson vs Roy Jones Jr. will be the greatest exhibition bout since Apollo Creed vs Ivan Drago.
  28. Kent Johnston was not available to give us a Washington weather update.
  29. The SweatSox are watching old episodes of Kiana’s Flex Appeal to help stay in shape this off-year.
  30. If Marc Lett could lick somebody right now, he would.
  31. Jeff sounds like a walker, not a carter.
  32. If you’re not swinging at 140%, are you even swinging?
  33. If you bunt against Kent Johnston, you’re going to feel it.
  34. Kent Johnston is the SweatSox Ryu.
  35. Yoenis Céspedes is a pretty good spare.
  36. A 6-2 groundout is a thing.
  37. Kent Johnston doesn’t stay up late, unless it’s Blue Jays opening night.
  38. Craig Cornell thinks that was dumb.
  39. That same moment in time still elicits a small feeling of rage within Craig Cornell, and a strong feeling of joy within Cory Bond.
  40. Don’t mess with CBC.
  41. Craig Cornell always blames Trep.
  42. “He” absolutely authored that.
  43. Craig Cornell wants to scrub the “Handshake from Hell” from the Internet.
  44. They probably call him Tiger in prison.
  45. We’re all sorry we ever knew him.
  46. Mark Bond was not on it.
  47. Jason Klein was behind Craig Cornell.
  48. I counted 9 boobs and 1 doob in that picture.
  49. I’m not sure who the greatest SweatSock with a last name that starts with D is.
  50. Twitter lied to Kent Johnston.
  51. The 6-2 was really a U2.
  52. Technically, 14 is 3 or more.
  53. Craig Cornell is concerned with the distancing in MLB dugouts.
  54. Josh Ramage is the SweatSox Lou Williams.
  55. Strippers do wear masks, but they take them off last.
  56. Craig Cornell likes my beer.
  57. Cory Bond was a pretty good shortstop in 2004. Not so much in 2003 though.
  58. Giles is broken.
  59. Craig Cornell is reporting that Justin Verlander is out for the year.
  60. Mark Bond is unfamiliar with the Lizard.
  61. Craig Cornell supports Girl Power.
  62. Kent Johnston would like to know who the Marlins have played against, and what the reporting protocols are they have in place.
  63. The NCBL season is still on track to start the day after the Baseball Ontario petition is approved.
  64. The SweatSox are not phishers.
  65. Kent Johnston is not Master of his Radar.
  66. Ross Hughes is fascinated by the concept of reading.
  67. The air is thicc.
  68. Samsquanch.
  69. Craig Cornell thinks $69 isn’t bad.
  70. Josh Ramage doesn’t want Kent Johnston reading garbage off the Internet.
  71. Derek Jeter can’t stop a ground ball, or the Covid.
  72. This MLB season will implode.
  73. Kent Johnston is the SweatSox Defector.
  74. Everything is a business.
  75. The NFL doesn’t care.
  76. Kent Johnston doesn’t want to miss the Toyota Corolla party.
  77. Ross Hughes has questions.
  78. Ross Hughes has to do his chores before he can golf.
  79. Craig Cornell appreciates a nice swing.
  80. If anyone is going to put lives at risk in a baseball jersey, it’s gonna be Kent Johnston.
  81. Do as Covid-19 Compliance Officers say, not as they do.
  82. Craig Cornell doesn’t appreciate people walking around with masks covering their mouth but not nose.
  83. Headhunting is the worst.