This past Sunday morning, the 1st ever NCBL virtual meeting was held and I, Shaun Keay, was able to attend. While Craig Cornell and Cory Bond, citing security concerns, refused to send me the meeting ID and password, dozens of other teams had no problem sliding that info into my DM’s. I was able to sneak into the meeting unnoticed, watch everything unfold, and report back to you all in my first ever firsthand account of an NCBL meeting. You’re welcome.
ATTENDANCE: The meeting was called to order at exactly 11:02am, with every team except the Beckwith Bandits represented. This is bad news for the Bandits, who will be fined for their absence (just like the Barons were back in 2019). If the Tier 3 Madam President could get an Internet signal out in Winchester, and Commissioner Bill could dial-in for an hour without someone picking up the home phone and disconnecting him, then there was no reason a Bandit couldn’t make their way to the local saloon and steal the WiFi password. Pay up Lowry. Both of you.
GRIM: The first order of business was to clarify the name of the “Team Formerly Known as Ferda”. We thought they changed their name to the Rideau Valley Reapers at this meeting last year, but the Commissioner clarified that they were actually the Grim Reapers now. If a Vampire can’t be Reverse, is a Reaper allowed to be Grim? Let’s split the difference and call them Los Reaperos at the next meeting.
FACIAL HAIR: It was at about this time that the Commissioner-in-Waiting Joe Beelen took center stage to teach the kids how to raise their virtual hands during the meeting. More notably though, he was rocking a pretty sweet COVID beard. It was so bushy that I wasn’t able to take a clear picture, but he’s still got some work to do if he’s going to catch up to the Brewers MVP, or their mascot:
FINANCIALS: Craig Cornell, who must’ve been having an unprecedented bad hair day otherwise why was he wearing a SweatSox Toque/Touque/Tuque inside his home office, spoke about the league’s finances.
The NCBL Treasurer summarized his presentation into 3 key points:
- The league has no money.
- The league has bills to pay.
- The league needs money ASAP.
During Cornell’s Q&A session, the Braves wondered why they were fined an unusually large amount over the past 2 years. I, Shaun Keay, learned through a reliable source that despite having the fastest player in the league (iJose) on their roster, the Braves’ fines were all for repeated slow play violations. Try tying your shoes before you get to the batters box gentlemen.
R.I.P. WINCHESTER: After months of speculation, the Commissioner made it official and announced that the Tier 1 Winchester Sox were under new ownership, and are being relocated out of North Dundas and into the National Capital. Old Winchester (new name TBD) will play out of Brewer Park (and all of a sudden, driving to Winchester doesn’t seem so bad) under the leadership of George S. Rigakos (aka the Professor).
Former Winchester manager Chris Hart, not the other Chris Hart, has left the team and will be seeking a new playing opportunity elsewhere. A reunion with Adrian Delorey on the Pirates seems most likely.
FILIBUSTER: Much to the dismay of a former Program Coordinator at Baseball Canada: Baseball Ontario Insurance is out; Trigon is in. Afterall, the majority always goes.
BUBBLES: The NCBL is scheduled to return to normal in time for the 2022 season, so we’ll need to get creative with scheduling to be able to have a 2021 season. The bubble strategy used in 2020 that saw Team Cuba run the table over the Braumeisters, Lynx, and Reverse Vampires, was the one unanimously voted on to be implemented this year.
There are still some details to be ironed out, like how big each bubble can be, how long each bubble will last, but most importantly how big a break is needed when mixing up the bubbles. Some believe that no time is needed, in which case every game could be its own bubble and the schedule can play out as it would any other year. Others believe that like hockey, a 14-day quarantine is required between one bubble ending and another bubble starting. Our very own Director of Green Kent Johnston is going to put his cooking apron on and get to the bottom of this.
IN & OUT: Commissioner Beelen then went through the teams one by one to get an unofficial update on their status for the 2021 season. The Tier 1 Athletics were the only team to say they were closing up shop like a Cornwall Pulp & Paper Mill, but a clutch mid-meeting text message from Graeme Nichols reversed their status from out to questionable, saving their season, at least for now.
COVID-69 (damn autocorrect): The Tier 2 Outlaws are one of many teams on the fence about playing in 2021, and are concerned about the lack of an official NCBL Health & Safety policy detailing what needs to happen if somebody on a team tests positive for the ‘rona. It just goes to show that “even outlaws have some rules they need to follow”. Commissioner Beelen promised to deliver this document before teams had to make their final decision.
R.I.P. JEAN LAZURE 2.0: For the second time in 4 years, Jean Lazure has resigned from his position on the NCBL Executive, this time to focus more on work opportunities as some kind of expensive avo cat. An election will be held at a later date to fill the role of Deputy UIC #2; I’m not sure who will be running but I’d definitely vote for my boy Sean Wright, who I’ve known since way back in our Tier 4 glory hole days.
WOOD: Louis Gadbois, who most famously led the Ferda Baseball Club to 2 straight victories over the SweatSox during Fall Ball 2019, highlighted by a 7th inning game winning HR off his former MVP Royals teammate Eric White, is out of bats. Gadbois took the time during “other business” to unmute and ask if there were any sweet deals out there for him. It turns out there are 2:
- Sambat is the NCBL’s official Carleton Place bat sponsor.
- T-Bats is the NCBL’s official Vars bat sponsor.
Louis will be in touch with both companies shortly to see which one will pay him the greatest sum of money to use their lumber.
Final 2021 NCBL Winter Meeting Notes/Thoughts:
- Team Cuba was the only team to announce themselves into the Zoom.
- 3 Executive members combined for 4 stints as official meeting host: Bill Beelen, Cory Bond, Brett Stott.
- Craig Cornell was NOT wearing a hat. Moron.
- The minutes from the past 2 NCBL meetings were unanimously approved, having only been read by 14% of NCBL managers.
- The Braumeisters were not fined, they’re just real close to Barons in alphabetical order.
- The Knights owe a lot of money, whether they opt-out or not.
- 1 waiver is better than 3.
- The SweatSox were 1 of 17 teams needing more time to decide whether to play this year or not.
- Is Bill Beelen a COVID denier? No.
“THANK HIM”: This just in from Joe Beelen: I need to thank Brett Stott for the use of his premium Zoom account. Thanks Brett!
Yours,
Shaun R. Keay
