A Firsthand Account of the 2022 NCBL Winter Meeting

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The 2022 pre-season officially kicked off this past Sunday, when the best & brightest of the NCBL gathered over Zoom to start planning the upcoming year. Since league meetings are still being conducted virtually, I, Shaun Keay, had little to no issues logging in under an alias so I could watch this Winter Meeting, take notes, and then relay them to you, unfiltered.  How am I not the NCBL Secretary yet?

Here are the “Keay Takeaways”, noted as they happened:

  1. The “reply-all” of video conferencing is not pressing the mute button the second you log-in. It was good to hear from Whittakers family though.
  2. Bill Beelen’s video quality was the greatest it’s ever been, likely because Joe Beelen wasn’t there to clog up all the bandwidth.
  3. Craig Cornell, Consultant to the SweatSox, Treasurer of the NCBL, husband, father, friend, will be here in about 25 minutes.
  4. Brett Stott got the 1st Bill Beelen shoutout of the year, for allowing us to use his personal Zoom license, which I have to assume is against their Terms & Conditions.
  5. The league did not acknowledge the Minutes from whenever the last meeting was.  They probably were never done, or just sucked. I’m thinking sucked.
  6. The reigning, defending, undisputed Umpire-in-Chief Mark Keeping, who moonlights as the Umpire Assignor, was up for re-election.  He was the only candidate for both positions, or so he says… How would we actually know?  Conspiracy!
  7. Craig will be here in 20 minutes.
  8. Neal Phadnis has quit the Coyotes. He feels he can help them win more games as a full-time umpire rather than a part-time player. Does anyone want to buy his bats? They’re barely used.
  9. After a heartfelt vote of confidence from Mike Whittaker (Red Sox), Neal Phadnis and Daniel Miner were named the new Deputy Umpire-in-Chiefs, or is it Umpires-in-Chief?
  10. And so ends the Ian Ianiero era.
  1. Mark Keeping does not seem to like Neal Phadnis.
  2. Neal Phadnis does not seem to like Mark Keeping.
  3. Everyone seems to like Daniel Miner though.
  4. Craig will be here in 15 minutes.
  5. We’re done with the “everybody bats” and “unlimited defensive substitutions” horseshit, although the SweatSox did use both those rules on multiple occasions last year.
  6. The 24-game season is back. Hopefully the SweatSox play at least 26.
  7. Marc Sports and the Expos have folded. R.I.P.
  8. Prediction: The Red Sox will pick up all the Marc Sports free agents, and the Lumberjacks will snag the remaining Expos.
  9. The Black Sox are thinking about dropping to Tier 3. That will get rejected.
  10. The Braves are thinking about dropping to Tier 3. We like the Braves, so that’s fine.
  11. The Misfits are thinking about dropping to Tier 3. They can fuck right off.
  12. Does nobody want to stay in Tier 2 and play the Red Sox?
  13. Craig will be here in 10 minutes.
  14. The Capitals are thinking about dropping to Tier 4. I’m guessing Hurtubise is out. So that’s probably fine.
  15. The Rideau Valley Reapers are thinking about coming up to Tier 3. A team wanting to move up is rare, but it’s been known to happen on occasion. Welcome.
  16. The Dukes claim they don’t know what they’re doing this year, but we already broke the news last fall: they’re folding.
  17. We don’t know what the Ponies, Blue Jays, Orioles, and Barons want to do because they no-showed to the meeting.  I bet 3 of the 4 fold.
  18. Commissioner Bill let it slip that the league pays the NCBL Secretary $250 to do the minutes every meeting. I, Shaun Keay, would do it for free.
  19. Craig will be here in 5 minutes.
  20. There will be no new teams joining the league this year.  Sorry Pat & Tamara.
  1. Opening Day is Sunday, May 8th
  2. Craig has entered the chat.
  3. Craig’s hair is on point.
  4. Craig was not happy with the officiating at his daughter’s basketball game. When is he ever happy with umpires referees though?
  5. Teams can expect to pay $5,000 in fees this year.
  6. Treasurer Cornell has crunched the long-term numbers, and projects team fees will increase $1,900 over the next 14 years.
  7. Mike Whittaker only turned his webcam on so everyone could see the beard he’s been growing real hard all winter.
  8. When a team defaults, Whittaker not only wants the W, he wants your mind, body and soul… And an extra $150 in his bank account.
  9. The River Rats and Kingston Ponies stand to make a net profit this year with all the default money they’re in line to receive.
  10. If you’re old, and want to play baseball against other old people, go to Halifax this August long weekend.
  11. Meeting Adjourned.

EDIT: The Secretary of the NCBL just sent me an angry text, vehemently disputing some of my “interpretations”, and demanded equal time in this post. So here is his version of the yet-to-be published Minutes; I wouldn’t trust most of what he says though, he’s just a company puppet who does what he’s told.

2022-A-NCBL-Winter-Meeting-Minutes-1

Final NCBL Winter Meeting Notes/Thoughts:

  • The SweatSox don’t though.