I don’t know your name. I don’t need to know your name. I don’t ever want to know your name. But you know mine. And you always will. Acknowledge me!
And now, in my own words (naturally), a breakdown of last night’s SweatSox vs Rockets matchup:
THE LIUM- So, the SweatSox took on the Rockets last night at Trillium, and unfortunately we ended up losing 8-2. Ouch! But hey, don’t worry, talking about it makes it easier, so let’s dive into the highlights.
Leading the way for the SweatSox was the one and only Eric White. He was on fire! Not literally, of course, because that would be a safety hazard. Eric smacked two hits, including a double. Talk about a double dose of awesomeness! He even managed to score a run and steal three bases. I guess you could say Eric was running the bases like a cheetah on caffeine!
But wait, there’s more! I, Shaun Keay, also got in on the action with a double of my own. I was hitting the ball so hard; I think the ball had to call for backup. “Mayday, mayday! We’ve got a rocket coming our way!“
Now, let’s talk about one of my best friends Josh Ramage. He broke his own golden rule by striking out looking. Come on, Josh, you’re not supposed to break rules, especially your own! But nobody was more upset about this strikeout than Craig Cornell. He also struck out, but at least he did it with a swing. I guess you could say Craig took a swing and a miss, but Josh took a look and a miss. Hey, at least they’re breaking records, right?
Moving on to the pitching side of things, we had Dave Rotari as the starting pitcher. He did a real great job early, but in the 4th inning, things got a little rocky. He gave up five runs before handing over the ball to Cory Bond. Maybe Dave needed a reminder to rotate his pitches, not his name! Nevertheless, he put up a good fight.
Cory Bond, our GLE (Glorious Little Engine), stepped in and threw one inning, striking out two batters (just like KJ would’ve). However, he had a bit of trouble with control, which led to three runs. It seems Cory needed some extra glue on his cleats to stay grounded on the mound!
Finally, we have Larry Pawelek, the closer. He came in to save the day, pitching the last inning + two thirds without giving up a single run. Larry is on fire! In fact, he’s currently leading the NCBL in ERA with a perfect 0.00. Larry’s pitching is so incredible; I heard the baseballs asked for his autograph after the game.
So, there you have it, the SweatSox game against the Rockets at Trillium summed up as only I can do. Despite the loss, our players showed some amazing skills, had their fair share of strikeouts, and provided us with plenty of comedic material. Keep your spirits high, SweatSox fans, because there’s always another game waiting for a laugh-filled recap!
Close enough…
HIS GREATEST AWARD YET? And now, the prestigious “I Fucked Up” award! This coveted honour recognizes those epic moments of blunders and mishaps on or off the field that leave us all scratching our heads. Among the esteemed nominees were Dave Rotari, who absentmindedly left his keys in Eric’s chair, resulting in a halfway home u-turn for Eric White when Rotari realized the mistake. Then there was Kent Johnston, who excitedly waved Craig Cornell home from first on a ball hit to left field at Trillium, only to have Craig DOA at the plate. Mike Pignat also had a shot at the award after dropping a routine fly ball to right, leaving fans gasping in disbelief. But in the end, the victor of this illustrious trophy was none other than Eric White himself. Eric managed to get picked off at second by being outrun by the Rockets pitcher. It’s a classic case of trying to outrun the speed of lightning and ending up on the wrong side of the tracks. Congratulations, Eric, for winning the “I Fucked Up” award and providing us with a moment of pure hilarity on the diamond!
MILESTONE ALERT: Oh hell yeah! Last night, in classic Stone Cold Steve Austin style, Josh Ramage delivered a single that shook the SweatSox record books to their very core! With that one swing, Ramage smashed his way past Armando Navarro and claimed the prestigious #10 spot on the SweatSox career hits list all for himself. That’s right, folks, Ramage is now strutting in the rarefied air of SweatSox legends, and he’s earned it with pure determination and grit. Raise a cold one and give a thunderous applause to Josh Ramage, because he just stunned the competition and etched his name in SweatSox history! That’s the bottom line, ’cause Josh Ramage said so!
Final SweatSox vs Rockets Notes/Thoughts:
- Josh and I were hungry men.
- I was late, but not late enough.
- Eric White won’t steal if he likes the first baseman and wants to talk to him for a few pitches.
- The Rockets got their offense going by rotating their defensive positions one spot to the left.
- I never thought I’d say this, but Larry and Eric look pretty similar on the basepaths.
- Sitting on the cooler comes with responsibility.
- Steve’s penis is just like a boomstick: 2-feet long and loaded with cheese.
- Shoutout to pool party Carol.
- Was Leclair at Wasaga when he took an aquadump next to the cottage dude getting a squeezer?
- If you’re reading this message, your device has been infected with my spyware. This is how I see and know all.
- Phil Leduc is not available to catch for anyone else in this or any other season.
- I do not run the Team Korea Twitter account. I would like to run the NCBL Twitter though.
- Jaspreet Sanghra and Eric White have the same mechanic.
- If you have a problem with Phil Leduc’s socks, you have a problem with yourself.
- Does dry humping still exist?
- Why is Larry’s piss green?
- Fuck Chuck.
- Is Steve an engineer like me?
- I started the day with a coffee, and ended it with a Caesar.
- I ate the wrong part of the pigeon wing.
- We’ll never get over the Hitman getting screwed at Survivor Series 1997.
- I, Shaun Keay, was smoking cigarettes on patios.
- Those people have no responsibilities.
- If you throw something out of a moving car’s window, you better be able to find it, or you will be yelled at.
- MIKE!!!
NEXT UP: Get ready for an exciting showdown tomorrow night at 6:10pm as the SweatSox take on the Padres at the Sportsplex, where the newcomers to the National Capital Baseball League are hoping to make their mark in their inaugural season.
#WONTHEHYJINX