I make them hot. I make them shiver. Their knees get weak. Whenever I’m around. They see me walk. They hear me talk. I make them feel. Like they’re on Cloud nine. I’m just a Shauny boy. ACKNOWLEDGE ME!
And now, in my own words, a breakdown of last night’s SweatSox vs Barons match-up:
THE BREW– For the first time in nearly a month, the SweatSox got back in the win column following a 10-4 win over the Bytown Barons last night at Brewer. What was special about this one was that we managed to pull this victory off with only a plate umpire working the game, his partner left after the early game due to medical concerns (we’re thinking it was the shits).
Dave Rotari (3-3) led the way for the SweatSox, starting then pitching 4 quality innings (7 hits, 0 walks, 2 earned runs, 3 strikeouts) before turning the ball over to Eric White for the 2-inning save.
At the dish, the Sox were led by rookie Nick Henderson, who went 3/4 with 2 RBI and a stolen base. Honourable mention to Eric White who was 2/2 with a double, 2 walks, and 3 runs scored, but 0 stolen bases.
Defensively, Josh Ramage led the way with 3 assists and 2 errors from the 3B position. He credits his natural baseball skills for the 3 assists, and blames his manager for throwing him on the hot corner 2 days after he threw 100+ pitches. At least it wasn’t the next morning after throwing 200+ pitches. Honourable mention to “Big Catch Jas” whose incredible 6th inning snag brought the “crowd” to its feet.
It’s not often the SweatSox add something new to our Constitution. We already have plenty of (Kent) rules, (Ramage) protocols, (Shaun Keay) accolades, and (Jerry and George) pacts, among other things. In the 3rd inning of last night’s game, Phil Leduc managed to introduce something else to our official rule book: a new law.
Leduc’s Law: when we have runners on 1st and 3rd, and the team on defense calls time and all gather on the mound to come up with some kind of obvious trick play, don’t get picked off at 3rd.
As a result of the inaugural Leduc Law violation, Josh Ramage was able to immediately transfer possession of the I Fucked Up Trophy, and had it sitting on Phil’s car by the time the ex-Red Sox made it back to the bench. No controversies with this one, getting picked off is far worse than throwing a ball to the bullpen from the mound on your knees.
NEXT UP for the SweatSox is a matchup with Los Latinos 9 days from now in Kanata.
Close enough…
Final SweatSox vs Barons Notes/Thoughts:
- The number of PROV1’s Josh Ramage has found: 14
- The number of PROV1’s Josh Ramage has ever used: 0
- A 100% profit margin is a great business plan
- Mark Bond knew Pee-wee Herman existed, but had no idea who he was
- Kent Johnston loves twirling around on his office chair chuckling to himself about how funny he is
- Andrew Hierlihy didn’t even try to get the commish to get our makeup game moved to the Stadium
- Master Accountant Kent Johnston mathematically confirmed that we do indeed have 6 games over a span of 12 days
- A joke lands that much better when Jaspreet Sanghra understands the reference
- Kent likes Elaine
- A diva cup is a small, flexible funnel-shaped cup made of rubber or silicone that you insert into your vagina to catch and collect period fluid
- Craig: make sure we get the appropriate refund for the umpire pulling the chute between games
- At one point Josh forgot how many outs there were. He needs to get his head in the game. We need to make smarter baseball decisions.
- Larry Pawelek is known in different parts of town as either Gary, Barry, and/or Jerry
- We had more beers on a no beer night than a regular night
- “Call me Mike” is the ultimate turn-on
- The 3-1 putout has always been the toughest out in baseball, at least for us
- Before Josh can be seen running around the field pregame, you can find him sitting in his car rubbing one out
- The Local Heroes cheese bread gives your stomach an extra layer of protection against potentially hotter than expected wing sauce
- Someone left a glove in our dugout. I guess we’ll find out at our next game whose it is
#WONTHEHYJINX